I didn't notice this is a place I come to whenever I am alone and upset until I read my last post.
I wrote smth like, i hope i'll never write in this blog again bcos if i did it means that im upset.
My negativity is back again recently, and i've been hit harder than ever.
My positivity largely depends on my boyfriend and kendra, so maybe that's why it's so fragile.
Friendship
Am i doing something wrong? Am i the toxic person that every article writes about? Why dont i seem like i have many friends? Am i just somebody who is eager to please? i dont think i please people lah bcos obviously people are running away from me??
I think im just the person who's always ranting that i have no friend, but never forged/ maintained my friendships. And people love to assume i have lots of friends which i dont understand why.
Did the friendship between me and my ex bffs end bcos of me? I know im not exactly the nicest/ most pleasant person to be with, but i dont think im that bad???
Okay dont get me wrong, im upset by this but i'm not the kind of person who would just go on street and grab somebody to be my friend just bcos i think i need one. I'm just curious lah, like is this normal? is this something that should trouble me?
I'm just a ball of negativity lah, i always put people down, i always criticise people's decisions and i always just assume the worst.
My bf came in so i cant write anymore.
but i sure did something right bcos i have my bf and kendra. <3 nbsp="" p="">
I miss talking to myself like this bcos im so used to talking to bf/ kendra. they are very very nice and supportive so whatever i tell them they would just tell me that it's not my fault and im doing better than before. there's probably some truth to it but i feel like im still stagnant. not doing anything to improve myself
okay bye
