A really different CNY for me from the previous CNYs, I was always very looking forward to CNY, thinking what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to do. And this year, everything is so different from the usual path, events and emotions. I met different people, learnt so many things. And I had been through so many goodbyes, and it really hurts. I dont want to grow up, i dont want people to leave my life nor leaving others' life. I dont want to accept all these. I just want to be that little girl without troubles again, the one who is always happy and carefree. The one who doesnt need to worry about her future because everything was set and she was fearless. I almost forgot how it feels and this saddens me. I know it sounds stupid, but I want all this to stay the same and different, idk?? Like its the same but its different, okay i make no sense.
How ah im feeling so down right now... :(
I dont want to go through any goodbyes again, im tired of it, tired of getting so close with someone, and then leaving my life. :'( its so cruel, its like it never matters, and it makes me look stupid since i care about them so much.
Its so weird that how someone can be so close, so connected at this moment, and the next moment we could be strangers without any connections. Its amazing and startling.

Please dont leave me. Everyone. :(

再见

来来去去 进进出出 一生中有多少人会进出你的生命 教会你不同的东西 人们来了又走 有些一离开就不再回来 有些过后还会回到你的生命中 和你再一次分享喜怒哀乐 这个旅途我经历了多少次的分分合合 悲欢离合 我知道我华语很烂可是我只想把我心中想的写出来 我很伤心 看着一个个越来越熟的朋友们离开我的小圈圈 并不是真的离开 而是和从前不一样了 以前天天可以见面 聊天 24小时可以见到对方 无话不说 直到某一天某些事发生了 使到一切都改变了 这些都是不争的事实 我也只能乖乖接受 我固然伤心 固然难过 却不能做什么 傻傻的看着他们一个一个的离开我的生活 懵懵懂懂的哭泣道别 不知道未来会如何 还会再次见面吗 还是这就是永别 就是我们之间的结尾了 不管是情人朋友 谢谢你把他们带入我的生活 我知道你都有你的目的 你的原因 感谢你让我接触他们 我生命中的每个人
唉 又要再一次的适应这一个离别 子丰再见 谢谢你对我那么好 每一次的聊天我都很享受 感谢你成为我吐苦水的对象 感谢你处处包容我保护我体谅我 让别人不敢对付我 真的真的很谢谢你 让我工作的生活变得超级快乐 有你的日子真好 ：（ 我会很想念你的。。。没有你的店里会是怎样的？旋转寿司旁边就看不到你了勒 看不到你做寿司认真的样子 你讽刺我的时候 你说鸟语的时候 一起骂顾客的时候 一起鸡婆的时候 半夜三更一起起载我们去远远的地方吃东西 有你就不怕饿着 唉 ：（ 真的会很难适应的。。。
但还是谢谢你做过的一切！！arigato gozaimasta

Thankyou!!!

Now that we are separated, do you even think of me lol what am i saying i think this is a test or what between us??? Even though nothing happened but lol hahaha this is funny and random duno what to say but ya i really wonder if u actually tell ur friends about us cough me especially ok thats all and my leg hurts im so scared its the old wound of mine i hope it is not :( and im thankful for all my super great colleagues that they asked me to sit down and be cashier so nice ah they all T.T and daddy asked me to come back and even offered to fetch me back and i really cried when he said that so gandong :'( i miss u all so much i love u all so much
Thank you for sending all these wonderful people into my life :D

It's too wonderful to be true, real. Because with Him, everything evil seems to be destroyed, and all you know and would do is good and pure.
But when you step out of the comfort zone, you found out it actually is not that easy as it has been to stay pure, because of all the temptations.
You want to have fun, and most of the fun we enjoy is evil, and even though you know that you are sinning, you would still do it, all because of the fun.

I need you to be my source of strength, to guide me on the right path, to tell me right or wrong, to know good and evil, and avoid all the temptations I might face, I just need you.
And I havent spent time with you for a while, and I know that it is wrong, but still I did not stop doing so. Im truly sorry...

And I know you will always love me and forgive me no matter what I had done, and Im truly grateful for that. Thank you for staying by my side. :)

And here we go again, an adventure full of unknown temptations.

Even though

Even though I'm super confused myself too, i still want to say this...
He is always there for us, just because we cant see him, doesnt mean that he is not there!
I'm no one to say that people ignore his presence, bcos sometimes i myself forgot to believe in him too, and i'm grateful that i have wonderful friends to be there for me and to remind me!!
Thank you so much papa for sending them into my life, each one of them changes parts of me :D
And even though I went to work already, i still have each one of you on my mind! Thinking what are you guys doing at that moment, are we sharing the same problem, or did you all forget me already.
Cant admit that I feel abit down whenever i know i cannot take part in all of the events but haha i'm really happy now too!

So i'm thankful for everything, really!
Thank you for being such an awesome papa!!! Muacks! ♡♡♡♡

Familiar

Here i am, lying on my own bed, the usual smell, sound and place. It's so unbelievable, for me to know that, I have actually grown up and am growing up, which is the one thing i hated the most, growing up.

I feel like, i have never left my castle before, i'm still me, the girl who is protected by her parents, sheltered and taken care of. Still the fragile glass which is kept in a box.

But the truth is, no, it is not a dream, i really went out, became a waitress, stayed in the hostel, went out until late night, and a lot more things I thought I would refrain myself from. (Relax, still legal stuffs ok)

and here i am, with a very clear mind, knowing what i have done, no matter right or wrong, and feeling guilty and happy at the same time. So tell me, what should i do now?
Am i right? Or am i wrong........ :(

I KNOW I CAN DO DIS!!!
:D
Goodnight.