Deceiving myself

"It's okay, it's okay even if it's just for your looks, and your looks only. You're still worthy, don't get dragged down by them. You're still beautiful, inside."

I tell myself.

But it's not working, I don't eat that shit. 

HEN XIANG BOXING LEH

Hi, I'm probably changing my blog, because this blog's layout cannot be edited lah ugh so frustrating. I think its broken ahahaha, reminds me of that cat video I saw.
I have sooooo many impulsive stuffs that I really want to do:-
1. A CAT. I WANT A CAT. DOES THAT SOUND INSANE??? IS THAT POSSIBLE T.T
2. Going to start and be a Taobao agent??? For people in my school lah, which is quite a lot?
3. Boxing. Yea, boxing. Not wrap stuffs in a box that kind of boxing. IT'S BOXING
Heard that it brings a lot of health benefits through the whole boxing workout routine, so I really would like to try that out! Not until go for competition that kind lah but I just wanna try boxing!
4. CUT & CURL MY HAIR. IKR HAHAHA cutting my hair sounds insane, because I once swore that I'd never go back to short hair (you guys would know why AHAHA). but the length I want is not the one I once had lah, it's just abit longer than the usual shoulder length. :>

And all of the stuffs above need money to  be accomplished.
And all of the stuffs above never included the crucial task I seriously need to do now. Study.
I NEED TO FREAKING STUDY LAH I HAVE ANOTHER TEST TOMORROW AND I HAD NEVER TOUCHED THE NOTES BEFORE. Okay lah touched before but no idea what the subject is telling, seriously.

I'M PROCASTINATING SO MUCH T.T
I found my new women crushes.
To be able to fall in love so easily is a blessing~~ hahahha excuses!
Okay I go do the layout of my new blog first hahaha, when everything's confirmed then only I move ok.
I WILL MISS ALL THE STUFFS I LEFT HERE. I think the old blog will still be here lah just that I won't post anything lor, just for the remembrance :p all the childish stuffs that used to matter so much to me! Time lah time, all the time I've recorded here! :D
It's like keeping a journal, except it's public. :/ Irony.
K BYE

It's a mixture of feelings.

Everyone deserves to be happy! :D So I genuinely feel happy for you too :D

Be the one you once were again and good luck.

OK DONE WASTING MY TIME GNA READ NOW THERE IS A TEST TOMORROW OMG 

THOUGHTS B4 I SLP

My mind is running so fast till i can't comprehend them into words.
Hi, I'm the midnight monster who's here to omnomnomnomnom
Alright i'm nowhere near the topic today lol
I was introduced to this son;

"What Are Words"

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

Where every single promise I'll keep
Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I'll keep
Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

I've gotta admit that, I've been feeling super dry lately, if you don't know what that means, well, don't ask, you'll figure it out pretty soon after reading all the bullshit i'm going to write.

I mean this song and some other videos i watch today, kind of really, blew my mind away.

Not literally but, yea, was pretty mind blowing to me.

She's literally my new woman crush, she might've just broke up, she might be different in real life, she might be just good at talking, but I don't really care. I'm just thankful that I got to know her and watched all her freaking videos. AND DAYUM, not only is she funny, sexy, smart, mature, and every good personalities (I might be exaggerating but you should totes check her out on youtube), her youtube channel is annaakana and i'll leave her to your judgements! 

Anyway, she just inspired me to just, stop chasing after love, at least bgr that is. 

I was like how??? How can we live without love? 

I love my family, I love God, I love human beings, I love dogs and cats. 

but the love she meant was bgr, like we're constantly being in and out of relationships (or is it just me) and we, alright I, was never committed to myself. By committed I don't mean like the normal narcissistic people you see around, it's about loving yourself, who you truly are, genuinely embracing who you are. 

I'm being completely honest here, sometimes i feel like shit. I feel like I'm literally just shit, and there's nothing good in me. Why? 

Because the society freaking made the standards of what 'good' is. And yea, no one forced me to measure myself according to that freaking stupid standard, but I did, anyway, probably still will. 

They overrated appearance of human beings, instead of what is important, the inside. The body that contains you, all of you. 

I'm pretty off-topic right now but gah whatever I'll just stick to whatever that comes to my mind. 

The society/people around us advertise love, bgr, looks, sizes.

but yea in the end, we'll all rot in the soil, we'll all die, so really, does it matter? 

Well yea, it pretty much still matters but isn't it a little too overrated? 

It was ALL that was on my mind, seriously. 

How do I look today? 

Am I pretty?

And now that I think of it, that is some pretty cheap thoughts over there. :/ 

I won't even try to deny the thoughts of mine, which is constantly trying to find a date, a boyfriend, even a husband lol everytime i see a *note HANDSOME guy. 

what if he's rotten inside? what if he's a psychopath who likes SM?? 

I'll never know.

Ain't I just acting like an animal in its mating season and trying to mate???? LIKE HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M JUST A DRY ANIMAL HERE THAT NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION, AND CARE.

That does sound pretty awesome, lmao. 

BUT WHATEVER.

I'm just gonna fight this thought, i'm stop taking every *HANDSOME guy as my preys (wtf) anymore.

I'm just going to wait for the right one He arranged for me and stuff.

I'M JUST SO MIND-BLOWN BY ANNA DON'T MIND MY RUBBISHNESS OVER HERE.

She's inspired me in so so so many ways, and gosh I just wanna be her.

LET ME BE YOU I WANNA BE FULL OF AWESOMENESS!!!????

Alright, so goals:

1. STOP TAKING EVERYONE AS MY FREAKING PREYS?

2. Oh and I've heard this quote for like a million times; The likes attract to each other. THEREFORE, I wanna become better and stop whining that there is no 'better' guy.

3. I WANT TO LOVE AND EMBRACE MYSELF *CUDDLES MA BACK

4. I want to gain a skill. Idk what it should be, any suggestions?? A few options though, sports? errrr there isn't any that doesn't require sun so i guess no??? :p I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO LEARN PIANO :> But it's exp as hell so let's just forget it. Yoga? I've been thinking bout dizzzzz, we'll see. Dance? We'll see bout this as well. :B WHAT ELSE?!?!?!?

5. I wanna read as much as i could!!! (just... not textbooks...)

6. I WANNA THROW AWAY THE HABIT OF GOSSIPING

7. I wanna be honest! :D to both myself and others!

8. I wanna be nice to others, WE'RE JUST FUKEN HUMAN BEINGS!!!! WE'RE BOUT THE SAME??? TRYNA FIND A PURPOSE TO LIVE HERE???

Er is that too much hehehehhe

Okay going to sleep buhbye!!!

BE NICE (IM TRYING)

I'm having a freaking test tomorrow and I'm not acting like I have one.

IM A PATIENT MIND YOU :(

Okay lah excuses I'm feeling better already, I'm just procastinating here and there :'(

Share yi xia what I learnt from ALL the youtube videos I watched today!

We're all just human beings, and we're unique in our own way. You can't be that someone you saw downtown, vice versa. 

So why don't you take some time to appreciate who you are, and you might go like, eh it's really pretty awesome to be me? Right?

I know it's easier to be said than done, but why not start trying? 

If you're envy of that person's hair, boobs, nose, skin or anything else, feel free to go up and praise her! Your hair is so fucking awesome and I love it! After all we're just humans trying to find a purpose in our lives, trying to have fun. So why be mean to others? 

I'm still working on all of them, but i truly hope that I can become a better person :D in every way.

AND I NEED TO START FROM THIS PILE OF SHIT!?!?!?! 

I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW

Shushan was just sitting in her throne, watching her stupid show lol when i walked downstairs hahaha

And i walked straight up and sat on her and she was like WHOI WALAO WHAT YOU WANT 

And i was like OOOH SORRAY I DIDNT SEE YOU HERE OOPS and she was like laughing madly hahaha

I just love her she's such a good sport?!?!!?!

Yea she's definitely cray cray!

GOODBAI I AM GOING TO GIVE SHUSHAN MY PHONE AND GO UPSTAIRS AND TRY TO STUDY THIS SHIT

It might be painful when you're denied, but it's the way you learn how to endure, right?

Am i mekin any centzz lul

Ya one us dollar lil

Hahahhaha

On the way to school rn, and the bus is making me all shaky 

9 am class shushan still in bed she doesnt want to go gahahha goodbye!

With shaky fingers, i clicked on the blogger icon.

With shaky fingers, i am typing these stuffs.

I am kinda scared, lost, sad and all negative emotions you can think of. 

How long has it been since the last drama i had been in

It's not i like to be in one, what like wtf is i hate ok

So much drama in my life and what am i supposed to do

God tryna tell me u shud forgive her, people who hurt are hurt

U ming ming jiu know then why still continue to hurt her

U ming ming jiu know what you are doing is wrong then why still continue

U ming ming jiu know you should be different from those who dont have God in their lives

Then why are you still acting like this?

:'(

I wanna lift this stone off from my cheat

Everyone kinda annoys me right now. 

Is there a pill for me to take so that i will love every single one instead of being annoyed lol

Argh so annoying dont find me lah

:-) 

Idk i just felt like posting a freaking smiley face hahahahaha

Okay lah I'll update what happened recently soon but not now! 

Because it's 4.30 in the morning lol like plzzz

Okay goodnight! Or morning :/

This is it! This is your point to change, where you transform!

事情本来就应该这样发展的啊 现在只是回归原位 :D

哈哈哈虽然有很伤心啦 可是我知道这样才是对的

好苦涩好苦涩 可是就算了吧哈哈哈

哎哟很爱打废话 大家都看得到自己要写的东西感觉好奇怪 

不要问我啦如果看到了lol 有点厚脸皮可是还是先讲的好 🙋

I must, I have to, make this awful but right decision. I just know, I just really know that, this is definitely the correct choice, and I will be proud of myself in the future :D

And I wanna return to His hug, to His warm warm hug again.

Daddy will you take me back please? i wanna be that obedient little girl of yours again, I want to feel that the neediness of mine to you. Father I love you sooo much and I repent :'( for everything.

Your never ending love is what I need. I need no stupid and idiotic and typical love that I had been chasing for so long. 

As least I woke up from it right? I hope this is not another 回光返照 

Lol where i finally realized what is right and then fell right back into the coma again. 

Father lead me. Guide me :'(

I need you in my life so so much. 

I feel so insecure, I worry about what the others' motives to me, I worry about how people think of me, and those are super tiring :'(

Father what should I do? Please guide me :'( 

I love you so much

Goodnight 

妈的你这太死电脑 fucking sorcery lah fuck you
死toshiba出这台fucking notebook with core i5 which was good and then a fucking 1.9 cpu speed which cannot support core i5 what the fuck is wrong with your brain
fuck this stupid shit ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
STILL COSTS 1000 SGD FUCK THIS
浪费我爸爸妈妈的钱买这台死垃圾
靠
！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
死垃圾wHAT THE FUCK

I've had enough lecturers in my life and I don't need another one to lecture me 😑 

You know what's the most annoying kind of guy? The one who lectures. Who freaking lectures you on everything like he is any better wtf

'Wah so late you havent slp'

Hello r u aslp u r also talking to me dumass zzzzz

'Wah u better dont o (dota)'

Hello u quit first then lecture me ok ma???????? 

Argh why do you have to lecture leh why why why i know you are older ok but you are not any better you dont sleep at 10 pm so don't tell me what the hell to do zzzzzz

:(

So irritated lah

And this is the time where i super duper xiang block all the stupid guys on wechat line whatsapp fb whatever 

==

I just read back my previous blog entries and gosh why do i sound like Sec 1-2 sia hahahaha

And the worst thing is i dont even care anymore hahaha

At least I've got a place for me to say anything i want ba, and again, not everything bcoz DER R EYESSSSS

Still deciding if i should make my blog private so till then i can really type anything i want hahahah

Wanted to poke her nostrils one but she was blocking it :( sad

Shushan tmr night going back sia, and i am not. Bcos the bus damn expensive lah, plus i go back also go out yumcha spend money, so i figured i should just stay at Kampar and do as usual lor

Watched Shutter Island just now, a psychological thriller! Acted by leonardo dicarpio, i recently kept watching his movie leh, this is only the second one I've been watching actually hahahaha

But it was nice!!! Inception was even better, damn mind blowing lor!!?!?!?!

Okay and I'm having menstruation and i hao xiang felt pain so scared ;( 

Goodnight!

I'm having speaking test on Thursday btw ok tata

:D

突然有种很想揍人的冲动

是报复吗wtf 真的好无聊

可是我又是谁勒 虽然如果你没有入座就不会中hit这样

变身愤怒的小鸟哈哈哈哈

哎哟真的是 好让人无言

我们的家的degree housemates们都回来了 网线开始慢下来了好桑心 

连dota都不可以我的天啊我要怎么办！！！！ 哎 

刚才和junrong他们打 真的很lag啦哎哟 然后我就想去gti jiaseng就说好啊来载我 结果下雨== 无言 就算了 结果刚才assignmemt groupmates问我要不要去gti～ hou hoi sam hahahaha

Then i said yes! Because i really need to dota

But

The results in the end is just, not satisfying at all lor haiz so sien

很抱歉这样讲他们因为他们来载我 可是他们真的有一点点的闲咯

而且他们不是那种安静的闲 

他们是很让我无语的闲你知道吗

超爱装酷的 三个男的三个一样爱装酷 我的天啊

然后和他们讲话我都觉得我们好像在whispering

然后我很像speaker这样你知道吗哈哈哈哈哈

他们用那种周杰伦的声音哈哈哈哈

然后居然还是我帮他们开cc的门！进出都是！虽然平时我也帮维肯他们开门可是我都不介意咯 因为90%都是他们在开 

好啦可能你不介意可是我有点介意咯 而且那种走小路只能一个人过的时候 还是我让他们的也 是什么状况啊现在哈哈哈哈 

好啦他们还是很好的 特地来载我去cc解了一下dota瘾 虽然那场一点都不好玩 可是算了哈哈哈哈 

不好意思hongjie junrong limfq！！要你们等我一场下一场和你们打结果我就要回家了 :( 

我真的很喜欢他们勒哈哈哈哈 有那种因为dota和他们混熟的感觉！ 心情好好～ 

junrong真的很好笑 hongjie也不是一般的好笑 还记得我多讨厌hongjie哈哈哈哈 

limfq最近真的是 越来越欠打 让人想揍他 

算了 不跟你计较

他们两个一直帮他跟我告白lol 害我一直很无语 直到我想到方法顶回去了哈哈哈哈 

Example!

junrong: eh ur bf emo leh u no find him

Me: u emo ah! But I'm talking to u now leh where got no find?!

And he would be like ...... Hahahahhaha

Same goes to hongjie hahahaha 

好啦写完东西心情好好

谁叫我自己pai kuan勒对吗 哈哈哈哈

晚安！

idk, talk?

LOL HAHAHA something unbelievable just happened.
You probably don't know that i super dislike the housemate who stays downstairs (a guy btw) one,
firstly because i don't know him????
2. his room damn smelly lor?!?!?!
3. always dirties kitchen & fridge
4. an incident
okay the story goes like this, at first there was just shushan and i when we first moved to Kampar, bcos all the degree students went back to their respective hometowns cos it was sem break.
Then when we were about to go back to our room, we heard noises from the door and we knew one of our housemate is coming back, and then i told shushan let's wait until he got in then we at least say hello to him like that, and when he entered, i waved my hand at him and then he was like, stunned.
LIKE SUPER STUNNED LIKE FACELESS VOID DE ULTI LIKE THAT LOL
he was removing his socks sia and then he just stunned there with his leg up in the air and stare at us.
then after 2 seconds he is still not moving then we got awkward then we quickly went upstairs.
AND IT MADE ME REALLY MAD LOL
how rude is that?!?!???!

Okay then recently, our housemates won't come back until 13th because of sem break, then don't know why just now the downstairs guy came back already.
we were out with our groupmates then when we got home, we realized the wooden door was shut, which wasn't when we went out, then shushan said, somebody probably came back already, then when we entered, i smelled the familiar disgusting smell distinctively LOL dwelling in the house sia.
then i was like okay i know who came back le, that guy *points at his room
then i was sad cos cannot dota le COS NO MORE FAST INTERNET .T.T.T.T.T.T SO SAD
but then i still tried and ya it was lagging like dogs?!?!??!?! and cats

I tried to withstand the lag and like fight against it lmao but no can do the delay was like 3 seconds I REALLY CANNOT I DIED THRICE ALREADY
then i don't know how and i immediately went downstairs (i knew it was bcos of him bcos shushan is sleeping already) and knocked on his door, he came out immediately and i was like, hello can you please please let me play a round of dota? and he was like yayyaya sure, then i asked you're watching drama ah? and he answered if you wanna play game then i stop first then i was super glad and happy i was like THANK U SO MUCH T.T I WILL TELL U ONCE I END THE GAME
then he said okay then i continued to dota

um moral of this story is, talking it out is really the best solution, literally lol.
i don't even dislike him anymore, i just realized all i have to do is just talk it out lol and tell him lah don't dirty the kitchen anymore or stuffs like that.
ya and i'm not even mad already
super bipolar and realistic hahahaha
already not angry just because he let me play dota hahahhahaha
xie xie housemate! still don't know his name yet lol
don't know can sleep or not today.
okay goodnight

I seriously need to sleep earlier. 

:( i feel so unhealthy but I can't stopppppp

And i wanna start studying also too! Jiayou!

Look at her bewbiessssss hahahha

I typed alot but all gone lah egg 

Anyway, it was raining and lots of thunder so the lifeguard won't let us swim, then i finally decided not to wait for the rain to stop bcos i was struggling if i should join them, so i went to the gym which is just beside the pool

And

It

SUCKS

Walao nothing in there one leh?!?!

The cycling machine got lah, treadmills also got, dumbbells, and that's it

Walao soooo turned off hahaha

Then went back to the pool and chatted with them

Got weikern weian jinyi 

Then the rain finally stopped around 6.30?

I yuan ben duwan to join one, but they seemed like having alot of fun hahaha so i joined them

After that we went to vegas

Ya vegas

Hahahhaha

A western style cafe lah, the theme is.... So messed up

Oh i think i blogged about this place alr, or not?

Aiya anyway, the food was so nice?!?! 

Didnt take any picture of the food cos we were freaking hungry and we gobbled down the food without stopping hahahha

Hahahahahh they looked like twins hahahahah

Cos the pool damn strict one must wear proper swimsuits, cap, goggles (not compulsory) 

Then everyone looked damn formal except me hahaha i wore a singlet which shushan said looks like a swimsuit 

And i couldnt swim

So idk why i went also haiyo

Okay lah byebye hahaha

It's an old phase, but nothing lasts.

And the moment i said that, stuffs that actually DO last popped up in my mind.

His love, my family, and my best friends whom are like my family.

I've been so negative and pessimistic these days and i dont even care.

That's the problem, I don't care anymore????? Stuffs used to bother me a lot doesn't even bother me recently.

But i still hate that thing where people just STARE at you like you don't have eyes to see them doing that.

It's just rude lah, especially when I'm eating lor what the freak.

Idk leh I came here to say, er

I also don't know i just felt like blabbling! 

Oh and tomorrow my class is at 12pm argh and if I don't want to walk and decide to take the bus, the closest bus shift is freaking 9am zzzz and i reach school about 10 because it goes roundddd and round, got a lot other stations that's why. 

I just got an idea?!?!? what about i join weikern they all de classes???!!! Yay! 

Okay wechatting him now! Okay see ya goin to sleep zzzZzzZzZ 

dem feels

Just felt like typing something, to make my brain feel alive. It's really something when I could pour everything ugly in me out to someone, who you know will never detest you because of your ugliness. It's just really something, a pretty big deal to me if you ask. I don't deny that I'm just as stupid, as childish, as bad, as fake as the others, as the people I scold each and every day. I'm just not any better than them, but it doesn't really stop me from gossiping; I wonder what will.

Sometimes I feel like, God doesn't even exist in me. I still could feel something, previously. Whenever my thoughts flew back to ESP, my heart gets so touched, I could not comprehend my mind, everything is just so, magical? miraculous? wonderful. magnificent. overwhelming. It's everything, basically.
The feelings are so much to me, my memory, my reminder, my anchor.

but Bible said, feelings aren't everything.
okay it's like, everything in bible contradicts themselves to me. They would say, feel God! feel God with your heart. They would ALSO say, feelings aren't everything, because feeling sometimes leads you away from God, even Demons feel, so....
yea that's the thing, I really like the feeling where I could literally feel Him, His presence, His existence, His words, His teachings. And sometimes when I couldn't feel anything, it just, doesn't touch me. Do you understand? Probably not.
I just, couldn't link myself to Him, I couldn't understand, I couldn't feel, I couldn't feel a thing.
I don't feel that overwhelming force, telling me I'm His daughter, His precious princess. I don't feel like I'm loved, I don't feel like I know him, I don't feel worthy enough???
I don't know it's just a mess.

Therefore, I shut them out.
So I won't need to worry that I couldn't feel anything,
needn't worry if i'm doing the right thing,
needn't worry if i'm sinning,
needn't to worry.
will not even learn to love.
will not do all sorts of positive, and stuffs I consider as the right stuffs.

idk it's just so messed up.
should I, or should I not, feel?

:( and again, I'm left with this insecurity

Bunch of candids behind the one photo.

This was before we went for movie! At the lecture hall, and Kendra laughed at my photo caption lol like that you think lah!!! 

I looked so feminine HAHAHAH 

Xiaoqi, Jeanette, siewJie

Junrong asked the stupidest question hahahaha he asked '做莫你拍照要吐舌头的' in the midst of a dota war LMAO I WAS ALR DAMN NOOB IN DOTA BUT THE JOKE MADE ME WORSE HAHAHAH I KEPT LAUGHING AND GOT KILLED 

We were in a company of eight (seven of the familiar faces plus another guy but he wasn't there yet when we took this picture) and bumped into the other three girls, ahteh, omg what are their names?!?!? Jialing!!! And omg I'm so sorry i forgot your name :'(

Went to gym the next day.

 

He said cannot put he zhao unless it's group photo hahaha so i put it here 

See my legs looked so slim here so i post....

Gei ni men kan exclusive photos of weikern HAHAHAHAHHA don't tell him i posted 

Sunday, went to service

And an infant got dedicated!! It was sooo sweet, his parents don't  understand English but they still went to service everytime :') 

Ya after lunch we went to...... CC HAHA

Then went to dinner with weikern they all again and ya i wore the dress throughout the day yay cos i brought insufficient clothes to Kendra's house

Oh ya we stayed here since friday night, Monday is a public holiday so we don't have class!!!! But needs to be replaced one lah zzz sien okay goodbye

Look at my dark eye circles omg

And ya i just woke up 

Yea I'm still not asleep ya ya i know i just read vegellerie de blog and she talked about the write stuffs you feel grateful of, so since I'm so down and negative i will do that thing

Someone gave me a baby G

My sister gave me a baby G

Wah all very materialize like that but still

I got 3.59 so I'm eligible to continue the scholarship

I have shushan here with me everyday for me to bite and rant

I have kendra that super siao zha bo teman me to kisiao everyday

I have gaogao that super shy and cute girl hahaha

I have my parents

I have my dear dear siblings

I have two really cute nieces whom are sometimes annoying

I have an iphone5s

People think I'm younger than i actually am

Tutorial class finally got handsome guy

Has pretty clothes

Had a black nike which i really like thankiu baba i love you so so much 

Have a new balance which i rarely wear

Not cacat?

Not THAT poor

Um shushan washed (some of) my laundry?

Did pilates today

Okay yes I'm so much more blessed than others just by thinking the family members i have

I love my dajie so so much she's so selfless how does she do that?!?!

Thank you for my psycho erjie who always surprise me with showers of love (surprise cos she rarely does that)

Thank you for my dear gor gor who carries alot of burdens and support me in dota2 

And infinite love to my parents even though they somehow piss me off in some ways but i still love them nonetheless

I have valerie chang who listens to my rants and tantrums 

I have tan sabun who is a smartass and going to help me ask stuffs about scholarships

Bu yao say stuffs like i nvr write u ok so ma fan

Tmr 9am got class leh i sleep le buhbye 

Hi. I'm Miss Very Grumpy

There are so much to trouble, so much to think, so much to plan, so much to decide.

But all i really did is just dota2 and procastinate and facebook and instagram.

And i haaaaated this, but I can't stop ;-(

I'll type the whole thing next time

And I'm having muet next week like wadafak?!?!?! I don't even know what muet is like zzzzz okay bye