打了很多字 很多怨言 很多生气的话
可是就算了吧 哈哈哈
心情有变好的感觉

跳tone一下
很庆幸自己不再是那个追着你跑的那个人
尾随你 等待你转过身看到我的那天
现在只觉得 好蠢 好傻 干嘛这样 这些是错误的

可是就这样吧 是你自己选择的 还是希望会有转折 加油


我读书也加油～晚安秀爱 晚安山猪 晚安婕儿～

First day of school lol not

Okay long story short!!!
Our housemates came back this afternoon, so we have the internet access now 😁 even though it's kind of slow when six of us are using it...
ANYWAY
Tomorrow or maybe today lol since it's 55minutes past twelve. Is the first day of my school! Decided for a change lol and since when did it ever take place hahaha! I'll make this my last day of freedom, hopefully...
And I'm kinda excited!!! Can't wait to know new friends, but I have some worries leh, what if I left shushan out? Or maybe the opposite, what if she left me out? I think it's kind of a problem since like if we already have each other out there, it might be difficult for us to join others, like the other groups, or not? Don't know leh, I just have this thought hehehe~
What if they don't like me and don't want to know me TT I've been lacking confidence lol.... Believe it or not... :p
Going to pick them back!!!!

Okay I don't know what to bring to class tomorrow so I brought my Typo notebook, as in qtpie notebook. Tomorrow's lunch would be so cheap!!!
Have to wake up at like 7??? And it's already 1 am, close lah two minutes more haha

Okay goodnight!!!
God bless me :D hopefully I can fit in there like the lock and key theory LOL SEE THAT?!?! I TOOK BIOLOGY LMAO HAHAHA

Cya

School

😓 haiz how ah, so discouraged , don't know what to say hahaha I just felt like typing~
Okay goodnight

Vain

Vain 是虚荣的意思 也是空 无 什么都不是
那些正是虚荣的代名词或者形容词
哇很有墨水这样哈哈哈
人真的很虚荣也 还是只有我？ 会被那种盲目的虚荣心带动 然后一直牵挂着一些无谓的事情
就好像 今天写的状态几个人like lol 我真的没有骗你 真的就是这样无聊 然后一直很想check 到底多少了 然后要check之前又骂自己真的很无聊 很白目 可是还是check 了
想说 很想脸书只有认识的朋友 可是到最后还是accept了
然后跳tone一下 你知道我刚才已经不小心按到back两次 然后我重新打了两次这样 包括现在这次是第三次 我要疯了 真的连想告白一下认错一下也那么难lol哈哈哈哈
好啦就是 我也不知道为什么要接受他们 就是虚荣吧 虚荣心在作祟 难道要怪社交网站吗？还是要怪自己的定力不够啊 它们有没有拿着抢要你更新要你update
那样很累也 写一个状态 要担心别人怎么想 放一张照片要担心别人会不会说 诶怎么都和真人不象 我也很累好吗 可是根本是自找的 😑 到底在干嘛啊 没有减轻自己的痛苦 只有无畏的担心
怎么今天 只有六个人来加我啊 虽然一个都没有接受 然后到个天 专注的看着request的号码 到底哪里除了问题啊 是我在金宝太空闲吗 来了这里进到学校 第一个想到的也是 哎呀 我会不会很丑 会不会很粗鲁 会不会不讨喜 会不会看起来很做作 人家会不会讨厌我

所以我在说吗 做自己一点也不容易 所以我才要try hard是吗 哈哈
干嘛要那么在意别人怎么看啊 将很容易啦 我才不相信有人会不介意勒 除非训练了很久的那种
要趁自己还没成为那种可悲的生物之前 赶快拯救我自己 是要怎样？变丑吗？😂 讲到很像多美这样 到底为什么我那么肤浅啊 永远都是appearance派的
然后批评别人这里那里的 真的好空虚 真的是每次半夜会有这种想法的勒
like啊这些的比较容易可以控制啦 就是那个注重别人怎么看怎么想的那个 真的很讨厌 很难不介意啊啊啊啊

报告 差一点又按到back了 很庆幸我没有哈哈哈哈

惨了啦给张瑞丽知道我的blog了 我知道我打错你的名字啦 只是很懒惰换
我希望我开学了 可以专注的读书 还是朝着最初的梦想前进 不要丢了自己 变成了另外一个可怕的自己 很难 可是要加油 因为路途肯定会碰到许许多多的挑战和诱惑吗 可是有他 不管多难 都有可能 只要你问 只要你要求 他都会满足

乖乖的待在他给我的comfort zone 做自己该做的事

好的接下来到学校报告 超迫不及待开学的现在 希望开学之后不会觉得现在这个想法很可笑哈哈哈 学校到处都是wifi哟～然后电脑室啊什么的 都可以自由去的 看戏啊什么的都可以 前提是要戴耳机 不然吵到别人 还有这里虽然说生活水平比kl低 可是一不小心还是会花钱啊啊啊啊 要照顾皮包 很迫不及待想要去学校的图书馆 在那里读书啊什么的 现在是想到很美好啦 希望开学之后这份热忱还存在

很想全部人啊 我爸爸妈妈 我姐姐们还有哥哥 还有我亲爱的bobo 然后到我所有可怜没人爱的朋友们哈哈哈 开个小玩笑吗不要介意

还有就是希望自己不要再介意了 这条路会很难 可是我可以的 还有就是希望自己可以勇敢一点 自信一点 在人群里面也可以扮演自己 大声地说话 平时讲话不是超大声吗 怎么去到礼堂大家好像都听不到我说话 看来要用喊的 开玩笑啦～哈哈哈哈在blog真的很白痴 还是因为是半夜的关系
还有哦报告一下 我们家附近本来有只常来我们家的野狗 可是他居然被另外一间屋子的学生关起来了 真是的 这只狗本身也很忘恩负义啦 才刚给他食物吃完哦 它就摇着尾巴跑向陌生人的怀抱 我说doby你也太过河拆桥吧 早知道不给你吃 哼 最好给我赶快回来哦 不然以后不理你 不管你摇尾巴摇得多厉害都不理！！

好啦晚安要睡觉了 七点要起来勒瓦老 肚子饿死了 现在三点！！睡觉了晚安

Blessed

Father I think I need to be constantly reminded on how blessed I am, I am a really forgetful girl, and I tend to forget how truly blessed I am. :') father it is your will that I would read through the inspiring entries today, and it really made me think. You may hate the subjects and stuff, you could still score well if you worked hard. Father I'm so in the mood to study leh, but there are still days before the school starts.
Father I also pray for all my dear friends, who are currently facing any academic problems, father I pray that you'll help them to get through every difficult stages of their studies just like how you would help me. :D father I pray for the boy who lost his father, that he'll get through the storm as soon as possible. I cannot imagine how sad he would get. I pray for his future, and that he would know about your presence in his life.
Father I thank you for the great companion, father you know me from the inside and out, so you sent me someone who is so patient and helpful, so we could stay together without any quarrels!

In all I do, I honor you. Father I want to honor you with my actions, not just my words. Father I pray that you'll tell me what I should do and protect me from all the temptations I will be facing. I believe the amount of temptations I will face is just, infinite? Lol

And listening to the hill songs just calm my mind so much. Father I pray for my dear friend Valerie, who's currently facing quite a number of troubles, father I pray for her that she would realize that you're always there for her, even when she feels lonely, that you're always with her. Your presence is heaven to me!!

Father I pray that everything will go smoothly tomorrow! Ohhh Jesus oh Jesus , your presence is heaven to me. Father I will practice your existence :) you're always there for me, I know... ❤️😁
Thank you for being around with me no matter what happened

Father I also pray for my parents, that they are always protected from the harmful diseases, and you would heal any uncomfortableness with your mighty hand. I thank you for everything.
Father I pray for Tricia, that you'll guide her out from the uncertainty she's currently facing, and you'll show her the path that you want her to go. Make it be your will father!

In all I pray, I thank you and I'm eternally grateful ❤️ I love you so much! Goodnight and Amen

Blessed

hi, it's me, with the midnight thoughts again.
and i really think i'm one blessed shit girl.

1. Ken
Thank you Ken, for being so kind, to give me four tickets of yours to me, yea it might be free, but still, no one would give free tickets to someone who flew him aeroplane ;-; Thanks for everything :') And to think how funny it is that we even thought he would have any bad thoughts hahaha, like kidnapping me or something bad. yea that's still one possibility actually....
NAH

2. Yongsheng
Thank you yonghsheng! for being my guardian through out my work at tianhai, the journey has been great mainly because of your help of starting the nickname 'angel' for me, and everyone started to treat me like a real angel, and a princess of theirs, i'm truly grateful!! :') What did i do to deserve you guys??

3. Leywen
when i first laid my eyes on her (lol), i thought she'd be the most unfriendly one among the colleagues, and it turns out completely opposite. Thank you for loving me so much, i don't think i'm worth of your liking that much but yea, maybe i'm your cup of tea lmaoooooo. you're my cup of tea too!! And don't ever mention stuffs like you are afraid that i might forget you and the others. No, you guys will always have a special position in my heart, the ones who treat me that nice. I'm truly blessed. :')

4. HO CIE ER
ya you might see this and this might be so mushy hahaha, but thank you for being there, to be my listener, even though i rarely listen to you :( Sometimes i get busy with my own thing and i forgot to talk to you, i'm sorry about that... and i hope you won't take it to your heart, i know i might still act very impulsively and childish (duh), but you still love me no matter what, and i love you for that! :D we could have an on-going talk with tons of nonsense and sometimes tons of seriousness. you're just a great listener, and i want you to know that! Good luck in your studies okay? :D wuv you

5. Chang Jui Lio
hahaha that's not a typo, that actually comes from the sharing Emily gave last Saturday in YF, she said males in Italy make have an O before their name ends. and voila, there is her new name hahahaha. I love you so much, i love you soooooooo much that i would bite, tickle, poke, hit, beat, pinch and kiss you. You're so lovable, and you should never see this, you'll definitely get cocky because of this hahaha. I'm going to miss you so much, you're out there alone in Singapore, and I hope you can get through it, smoothly, meet lots of lovely friends like me :') and then spend your time there wonderfully :D Don't stress yourself out, as you would.

6. MOUNTAIN BOAR
okay that's tricky huh aint it? this one is dedicated for ho shu shan hahaha. she ah, she's the most tolerable person i've ever known, or is she? i don't know but she's nice, that's the word that would describe her perfectly, and also this word, 'filial'. damn she is one filial daughter, she loves her family so much that she would put her family above anything. including Him. and that's what that has affected her from going to the church. and one day later, i hope she would realize, and go back to Him. :) weyyy, i love you so much ah, thanks for tolerating me and my big temper. I know it is hard to be with me and somemore my best friend. Thank you for not leaving me there stumping my legs alone, and listening to my nonsense, and agreeing with my false truths hahahaha. we're going to spend the next 4 years together (hopefully) and i hope we could get along! :D I love you for you're always there for me, no matter what happened :)

7. Tennis Tricia
Hello tricia heng mei chiun, haha your name is tricky lah, and you don't like people mistyping your name, alright neither do i, so i accept this one hehe, you ahhhhhhh you always 牛头不对马嘴 one ah
tell you A you'd go to B and then C and then back to A, sometimes that really irritates me, but argh who asks you to happen to be one of my soulmates? sometimes we could agree on almost EVERYTHING. and then the next second we could be disagreeing on almost every statements lol. it's weird, the two totally opposite personalities person could be so close, and i think that's what pull us close :') you and your nonsense, me and my big temper, together we're a perfect match lmao, thank you for always being there and be my driver (sometimes) and helping me unconditionally, sometimes you might be really realistic but that's who you are! and not to mention i'm also realistic lor hahahha. like the incident just now, you wanted to borrow my converse bag and i said no immediately XD but that's even better than me saying okay and then throwing tantrum behind your back right??? right???
 hao lah, i love you too! a lot alot alot :D and i wish you the best for your future studies, think what's the best for yourself, and Him :D we shared the shortest time, but the highest speed to get close. that is how amazing things go. :') Blessed am i, truly.

Cannot finish all the people i want to thank in my list, will talk more about it, so i would remember their kindness instead of their shortness every single time.

Practice His existence.
Quote for thought. :b

Love x

真的很爱你们

第一件事 工钱
比预期中的拿了很少很少 可是确实是对的 只能说被砍菜头了 也不算被砍吧 就是 不知道啦
总之拿很少就对了 要还雪文100 还maxis 100 其实是还需要还大姐妈妈礼物的钱 可是真的很赖啊我 很不想还姐姐钱 解释的话他应该会理解 可是 哎 我也不想的 你看啊 就剩639 来说的话
他叫我还他250 你等下我按计算机 剩一个389 说390 好了 买鞋子 预料在 150 以内 剩一个 239
其实还蛮足够的勒 只是说如果要买衣服鞋子的话可能就要一些钱了 请爸爸妈妈吃饭 可以免掉 给他们的家用 其实还蛮不错的 不然问看姐姐可不可以还他200 就好 那我就有 239+50 多少啊 289 算 290
差不多一个三百？ 可以这样说吗？ 那是如果他答应我还200拉 然后没做工了 可能还会花一点钱 那就尽量省着花 蛮想去洗牙的 可是也是钱 不知道爸爸有没有办法每个月还那个100 大姐哥哥个人出了1000 再要他们帮我出钱 真的很过意不去 唉

算一下去到那里的花费 我算我 160 一个月租金啦 然后吃勒？住勒？我那个钱买了包鞋还是留起来好了 不买衣服了 要加油要坚定啊 等开始读书了就会有ptptn 希望到时可以轻松一点 前面要熬过就好了 吃啊 到底多少 想说一百一个月 是太少吗还是什么哈哈哈哈 我算一下 差不多一个两百五到三百这样 该如何度过勒 可以吗？要省省花囖 一定可以的！

第二 也是最无聊可是最影响我的 (now not so sure) 陈威文
我跟你讲我真的很无聊 真的就因为那么一点暧昧 然后我就要死要活这样 今天在店里居然还在酝酿眼泪 哭出来是会怎样啦 有钱拿啊 受不了你也真是的 他爱跟谁就跟谁啊 他爱做什么就做什么 你到底几时才会明白啊wakao 都不管你的事 他都不当一回事了 他都不敢来和你讲话 他都没来找你了 你到底在介意什么鬼 你是要打架是吗 无聊 白痴 白目 你都不喜欢人家你在烦恼什么 死智障

第三 离开爸爸妈妈 离开家 真的可以吗？
妈妈很舍不得我去远远 真的感觉得出来 很感动 也很honored
今天母亲节 每个人都post照片 可是我觉得没必要 因为这只是一个做给人看的一个东西 有些人可能真的想要借着这个节日 和妈妈说谢谢 可是在我的脑海中 就是那种 你做给人家看的一种表现 拍照之后然后呢？ 你有帮忙洗碗吗？ 你有听他的话吗？ 你有说等一下吗？ 你有说不要吵啦吗？ 如果你都做了 那母亲节一点意义都没有 个人认为照片根本不能表达出我对他的感激还有爱慕 因为如果没有他 我什么都不是 这个给了我全部的人 我可以给他什么？ 她念我 不是因为他喜欢念也 是因为要我好 去哪里找啊？这个世界上 最难最可怕的工作 不是actuarist 不是律师 不是医生 而是妈妈 爸爸也是啦
真的真的很爱你们 希望你们长命百岁 活到我出社会了 好好的养你们 给你们过上好生活 回报你们给我的那冰山一角 真的 不想离开你们 我要怎么办啊 没了你们 我还能坚持下去吗？爸爸年纪那么大 我真的很怕 哪一天就这样离开我 我知道这些很pantang 都不可以讲 可是万一 万一你们真的离开我 我不知道我还活不活的下去 你们是我生命中的全部 当然还有神 没有你们我什么都不是 没有你们我根本不会在这个世界上 谢谢你们在那么辛苦的过生活时 还想着要给我最好的 到底是谁发明爸爸和妈妈的啊 怎么这么伟大 我长大了做妈妈了 真的也会变成这样吗？ 我那么自私 那么懒惰 根本一点都不象我爸爸妈妈 好好笑

你们永远是我最大的牵挂 还有我的家人们 没有你们 我什么都不是
我很爱你们

这个post就这样变成感谢文了 努力不要哭因为今天眼睛已经够肿了 再哭的话明天起来又会肿 会让我更想哭
工钱算什么 陈威文算什么 烦恼算什么 有你们就足够了

This is the part I don't want to touch, it's a pain that no one could understand, it might seem small and boring to the others, but it actually means a lot to me for reasons I don't know.
It's not like he'd been very nice to me or what leh
I also don't know why is this happening, I shouldn't be bothered by him lol
This is like something so small like peas, but still I'm so affected by it
And no more
And I shall try to keep myself busy
When time tries to flood it away again