Dreams.

It's not a dream when it's not big enough or it's not scaring you.

Hello! Greetings from midnight, this big bad night got me thinking EVERYTHING again. Yes, worrying over things doesn't make it better, it actually gets worse cus you think too much.
But no can help lah, if only I have a remote control to shut down my brain........ ACTUALLY no, it sounds bad hahahahahah, if shut down my brain means it's off, i'm dead? LOL ok change the topic.

Aaaaaaaaand I have a dream, a dream that's scaring me, so it's a dream indeed! It's making me to think, if i would reach that dream. And then all those negative thoughts started to storm in my brain, Are you gonna make it? You sure you can do it well? Are you sure it's the best choice? What if I can't reach it? How can I make it happen? QUESTIONS that are always going through my head.

I can't handle all my thoughts, they are too much for me.

EVERY SINGLE TIME I thought of those questions, scare the shit outta mie small ass. Walao, I'm not sure it's gonna happen or not! Then I get in dilemma, wondering those useless shits and pies I will get if that dream of mine doesn't happen in the end.

Every story gets a good ending, if your story does not have one, it's not the end yet!

Exactly, soooooooooo, what I'm gonna do is just,
BELIEVE THE SHIT DREAM OF MINE IS GONNA HAPPEN. They say, dream while you can. Yea but it's kind of difficult to make yourself believes that your dream actually comes true. But, what makes you feel better? Questions or Beliefs? I'll leave you all with that question, I hope you'd come out with a good answer as I have.

Words are magic, they do all kind of tricks. Your praise to someone might not require alot of energy of yours, yet it helps them more than you'd thought.

 Praise doesn't require money nor energy *maybe some*, but it HELPS SOOOOOOOO MUCH THAN YOU'LL EVER THOUGHT OF. So, let's be kinder to the people around us, and create a waaaaaaaarm and caaaaaaaring community! I think it's pretty difficult lor hhahahahaha.

The more you care about, the more you hurt.

 Sad, but truth. Sometimes, you just have to ignore, ignore the shit outta ur little or big azz. My dad told me yesterday, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT HER?? IT'S HER LIFE! IT'S NON OF YOUR BUISNESS.
Then I was thinking, YA LOR WHY SHOULD I BE BOTHER OF HER LIFE SO MUCH? IT'S NON OF MY BUISNESS WAD! SHE CAN BE ALL VICIOUS AND KEPO ALL SHE WANTS!!!
It might be difficult to ignore lah seriously, but practice makes perfect! LOL not sure if this idiom is suitable here.

Last quote,

JUST DO YOUR BEST, just so you know, you didn't let down yourself.

I'm joining the public speaking! Must believe in myself mah, then get champion!!!!! *Holds fists*
Goodbye, and goodnight. :D

Day1.

Hello! I'm supposed to be sleeping now, supposed hah. It's 2.07am and dad just finished the annual ritual of tee-gong's birthday. Walao i was feeling really frustrated just now, but then, aiya nevermind lah I'll just take it as child's play. -____- even when he happens to be not a child!!!!!! Ugh, forget it.

I wanted to talk about the day six of CNY! Hehehe us 6 knew when we went for a camp that was held in Kukup. We came from different schools, so it's really a fate for us to know each other!!!! Heheheheheheh.

The first stop was Yimieng's house, which was located really far from town hahahaha! But we didn't take any photos don't know why leh. And so the next stop is Weiken's houseeeeeeeeeee. We finally started to take photographs hahahahha!

#1

 From left;
Weewee, XTing, me trying to act like I'm smoking, and then yimieng the one that went down, and Shijun the one that wore hat! Yea Weiken missed out in this photo, I think he went to get us drinks.

#2

 They told me I would do that hand-on-chin's pose whenever someone is taking photo, I really didn't realise it until they told me so. Hahahahah so the two were teasing me. Maybe I was trying to show off my watch unconciously. XD

#3

 Uhm ahhahahahaha.

#4

 Oh the right-est one is weiken, he got in the camera alas!!!!!

#5

Keekekekekkee.

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After that we went to shijun's house! I was pretty bored there cus my head was dizzy. Like SERIOUSLY DIZZY AH SO DIZZY, I thought the world was spinning and rolling and dancing ah =.= . And they were playing mahjong, I don't know how to play it, so........... Actually I know how to, I just don't know how to win lol. Btw, talked about mahjong, I played with my siblings just now cus they are lacking of kaki so they asked me to join them. (Normally they won't one, cus I have alot of questions hahahahha) And then I lost a total of RM16 =.= I DIDN'T EVEN WIN ONE ROUND AH HOW CAN!!!!!!!!! Ok back to that day, so I was really dizzy and lay on a really comfy chair! Not sure if it's really comfy or it's comfy cus I was dizzy............... NEVERMIND. So I sat for the half day, and spent the other half doing my homework hahahahahahaha. So after they had fun playing mahjong, we decided to set kong-ming-deng off!!!! It was a pretty large one, eh sorry, it's really large. =.= It's like twice the size of the normal one we've seen. The moment when shijun opens the plastic bag and takes out the kong-ming-deng, all of us went WOAAAAAAA SO BIG AH CAN WRITE ALOT OF WISHES. LOL hahahahahahaha.

Alright here's a view of the really big kong-ming-deng. In case you didn't know what's a kong-ming-deng, it's a really big lantern that you set off to the sky hahahahaha. By using the hot air balloon theory, the candle buns and then carbon dioxide produced and then the paper goes baboooom and gets really big and then flies lor. aiya you know lah. Let the pictures speak!

♡ 1

 Part of the wishes that we wrote on the lantern!
心想事成 (Whatever we wish will come true)
身体健康 (Be healthy)
And then the following two-words letter are our names lor, us 6's names.
And then the right side one,
幸福快乐 (Happiness)
永远开心 (Happy forever)

♡ 2

 This is Weewee writing her wishes on the lantern.

♡ 3

Left side one is Xinting, not sure what is she doing hahaahhaha, looking at what I'm writing?
Middle me writing wishes.
Right bottom is Yimieng I think, writing wishes too!

♡ 

 The really brave Xinting lighting up the wax, the weather was really windy so the flame kept on burning her fingers!!!!!! Thankiu Xinting!!!! But she also keeps on shouting, 哇很烧勒很烧!!! Hahahahahha I think everyone would do that. So in the end Shijun went and got us a candle so it's easier for her to light up that wax.

♡

 Ok the picture explains it all ~

♡ 

A big salute to Xinting! See how hot she was hahahahha!

♡ 

 FINALLY!!!!!!! THE LANTERN IS UP ^_______^

♡ 

And us 4 taking picture with the lantern hahahahahah! Yimieng was the photographer so she's not in this picture. :( Weiken went back before this so he's not in this picture too!

♡ 

 Us two trying to take picture with the lantern also, but.......... hahahahahhahahaah it flew up really high already hahahahaha! SPOT DAT LITTLE RED DOT!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I'm not that short actually lor just becus I bent my legs!!!!!! Really usually not that short one tsk. -_-

Heeeheeee I guess that's all! Didn't take any better selcas that day cus I was too busy with my dizzy head and homework and also group photos! Wasn't in mood of selca. :(

Alright, goodnight guys!

Over the rainbow! ♡

Hello, it's 初六! Which is the 6th day of CNY! I guess I really did enjoy my CNY, ohohoho went out with friends almost everyday! :D Very full ah the schedule, which is why I'm enjoying it. Not night though........... x____x

I have to throw away the holiday mood liao, the things I think during CNY are angpows and gambling and foods and lots of food hahahhahaha! Oh talked about food hor, i went to weigh myself just now, and found that my weight decrease AGAIN. Idk if that's a good thing leh, cus recently I've just decided to eat more and gain weight hahahahah. Spot the irony!!! My weight went from 39 to 36. I myself also wonder leh, how did I do that hahaahahha!! Man it's New Year, I ate super lots of food one I tell you!!!!! Even 菜狗 told me that I became fatter =.= which actually saddens me a little, but then after that I found that it's ok for me to gain some weight!!!!!!! Then jie guo I became slimmer hahahahahahha, actually very happy. XD

Walao I want to upload pictures!!! But I'm on my desktop now, so........... :(
I actually have some goals to achieve, fyi, I'll be selling some clothes online and hopefully I can earn some pocket money and then SAVE INTO BANK AND I MEAN IT LOR. But I want to buy a camera first, so after I buy camera lah! Using my profits ^________^ Maybe a watch too.

CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT.

I type until forget what I promised myself, ONLY BUY THE THINGS I CAN AFFORD!!!!! So let's see lah, if I earned quite much profit then I'll buy myself something! :D Okay that's all I'll be crapping today, don't want to rise my place in google page of naggish anymore hahahahahahha. XD @ahtoh + @菜狗

Alright cya next time OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT !!!!!!! 我很开心哟很开心很开心哈哈哈哈哈
All I wish is that I can sleep later in the night w/o thinking craps. Goodnight! x

Just be yourself.

Is that what you meant? I think I've got it pretty well. It's kinda hard though. 

Well, firstlyyyyy;

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!! 

Just went through a blogpost from Naomineo, it had me think alot. Yea you came to this world, not to entertain others, not to applause the others. Pretending is tough, and you don't feel happy at all. So why else would you do it? You ask me? I have no idea too, I'm trying to figure it myself. She mentioned this issue; 

I want myself to look good.

Uhm, yes? As what she said, I didn't know when did this started too. =.= SHE ALSO TALKED ABOUT SKINNY, ya lor what's the big deal with that gap between my thighs. ACTUALLY, it meant alot to me.............. That is like, the only thing that assures my skinny-ness. Seriously lol, very scary ah sometimes i look thru my photos, and I look kinda geli cus I'm too skinny. Should I say that, I'm not really happy with the me right now. But, I thought we're supposed to love ourselves!!!!! That's the right thing that I should think and do. POSITIVE YO POSITIVE. 

Why bother to look good? Um, not sure about this yet but I'm sure this will be carried on.(to me) Everyone has their own perspectives, you can't fulfil all their standards right. Some might think you're ugly some might think you're awesome. It would be tiring, to fulfil all their levels and standards. SO WHY?????? WHY MAKE YOURSELF SO TIRED TO MAKE THE OTHERS LIKE YOU. Ok la  I also don't know what's the answer, think yourself la cannot think yourself ah. 

NEVER buy the things that you can't afford.

Lol........ seriously thinks that sentence is pointing me. I don't know how you guys spend, but I sure do know that I spend alot.(for me) Like, out of my budget. I would think of every possible way to gain money, AND THEN SPEND ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF THEM. I used to be proud of it, but no, not now. Not sure why would I be proud of it, maybe it makes me feels good, I have this satisfactory when I bought alot of things, spending all my moneys, and carrying alot of plastic bags. Sick -_- Ok la maybe I'm not like those richass-es whom parents can give them money to spend (not directed to anyone, I'm just plain jealous.) and then no need to think one just spend. I actually went to work and spend my own salary and also save from my pocket money. Sounds pretty good huh, not when I used them on useless things tho. 

I'll try to figure out a way aye, to solve all these problems of mine. 

I think I get angry and frustrated pretty soon nowadays, and also I found that I'm really selfish. Depends on to whom though. If it was my besties or family (not including relatives), I don't think I'm selfish. (Not sure also......... -_-) I would be really stingy and selfish to the others one lor, and I think I'm really easy to get angry lol. Sometimes when people don't get what I'm trying to tell them I also get angry. CUS THEY NEVER READ ONE, they can just misunderstand what I'm trying to tell them when I already said sho clearly. =.= Ok la I change this one ok. To change myself into a better person that has a better personality (pffffffft lol) for the sake of the future of Malaysia ahahahahahha, I wrote all my bads on a paper so that would remind myself hehehehehe. So, here's the list! 

BADGIRL:-You spend too much. (SAVE MONEY)-You gossip too much. (SHUT THE F* UP)-You ignore too much messages. (READ THEM AND REPLY)-You care too much about what the others say you are. (IGNORE AND JUST BE YOURSELF)-You are too selfish. (SHARE!!! THINK ABOUT GOD)-You get angry very very very fast. (DEEP BREATHE DEEEEEEEEEEEP BREATHE)-You scold too much f* word. (GET RID OF IT)-You despise people too much. (GIVE UR LOVING TO THEM) -You get jealous of people too easily. (LOL JUST IGNORE AND BE URSELF)-You think too much. (MAKE IT SIMPLE)-You follow too much. (IDK HOW TO SOLVE IT BUT OH WELLS)

Alright! That's all I could think of now! The conclusion is :

Yours sincerely,

xxxxxxxxooooooo

One good turn deserves another.

Wahlao bamboo how can you be so rude har people comfort you leh, still act like that huh!!! PULL BACK PULL BACK ALL MY WORDS HMPF.

Happy Birthday Tricia sai sai hahahahhahaha!!!(Earlier) You pushed away the bikini cake request yourself one ah! Cannot blame me already. :P I just had a really bad day, I think. :( Went to school, and then pakad, and then  latihan sukan, and then tuition. Reached home around 7.30pm............ Super annoyed and also hungry just now -___- Haiyo but all good now!!!! Had a 'short' chat with le senior senior haahhahahahahhahahaha!!! Pray that everything is smooth for you har. And the poor wee wee who is sickkkkkkkkkk, jiayou recover!!!

I did it, again.......... The same old thing. -_- I took out all my new clothes and then put each of them on again LOL. #Ihavenoideawhatimdoing EXACTLY LAH. I did this like n times, also don't know why am I so hardworking ah. Fold the clothes neatly again again and again. And something big (kind of) happened, but it's solvable lah so i'm not really worried over it.

Since I just had a really long and tiring day, I've decided to skip school tomorrow!!!!!!!! YAY AND MOM AGREED!!!! Aiya really very tired mah. Our school very funny one leh, gave us all forms to fill in if our parents allow us to stay back at school to do pakad (school tuition liddat), and then doesn't allow us to fill in not allow. SO FUNNY RIGHT, THEN YOU COULD'VE JUST CARRY ON THE PAKAD W/O THE FORMS MAH. =.=

So much anger when I talk about school ah ugh, my C teacher is really the most kiampak teacher in the world. He uses 15 minutes to solve a question. Why? It's not because that he can't solve it lah. Ok example, he asked, ''Give me the formula of XXXXXX, *name*'' And if the person cannot answer the question, he would continue to find person 2, and then 3, and then 4 and so on. UNTIL HE IS SHIOK ALREADY HOR AND THEN HE STOPS. By then, when he comfirmed everyone cannot solve the question, he would start his nagging. AND THEN FINALLY GIVE US THE ANSWER, AND THEN FINALLY CARRY ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION UGHHHHHHHHHH. Wahlao super frustrated, can't you just let us know the answer and then carry on, save time also mah!!!! By then he used half an hour for a question, I exaggerated of course hahahahah! But almost lah almost half an hour. =.= And he likes to use his super kiampak face to nag nag nag nag nag, about the rules lahhhhhhhhhh, and then scares us with the rules and sorts. I wish I can select to not hear what he's talking about. GIBBERISH AH. -___- But okay lah sometimes he is really gentle also, SOMETIMES. LOL

CHINESE NEW YEAR- 3DAYS LEFT. AHHHHHHHH EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
Um, it's the last year already what! Why should we behave like that lehhhhhhhhh, can't we just stay as a group? It's not like we have alot of chinese students in Form 5! We have been in the same school, same community (maybe not) for 4 years, familiar or not, we've still been through alot of ups and downs what! Haiyoooooooooooo. Can't we just stay as one until the end? No? :(

Have to pass up Moral folio already but I'm still waiting for the papers to be done, ok Imma go and check what can I draw in my papers! Hehehhehe boa noite! :D xx

Nilai murni

Um there's this subject called P.M. in my school, it's in one of the subjects for SPM. I PERSONALLY think it's quite useless.(or is it XD) The things P.M teaches are super useless one, like you really use them in your real life, maybe some of them yes lah, but........

Oh ya and then subject is Pendidikan Moral, which teaches you moral values lor, ask you to be more polite ah hardworking ah and those good values. Yea it's good if you learn it (kind of ironic hor) but I think it's not good when it's counted in one of your important subjects lorh. You know the activation enery you need to get good grade in this subject is super high one mah!!! Super hard to get A's loh, maybe me only lah hahahaha! Oh and in order to get good grade in P.M. hor, you still have to finish a project, which is SUPER FUNNY ONE HAHAHAHHA. You have to finish some works ah, like if the moral value you're going to introduce is love your surroundings or etc, you have to take a photo of you picking up rubbish at roadside LOL and etc!! Hahahaahah I think it's hilarious, because you pick up the rubbish only for the photo taking mah, like you really went to pick up so people can take photo of you. Some of my friends even throw their own rubbishes on the road IN ORDER to pick them up hahahahha! It's quite silly right?? Picking up the own rubbish you threw then take picture of it........ Sounds hilarious hahahahahah. So there's this part of the project hor, you have to, um, like decorate your school compound??? Or making it cleaner or something, like contributes for your school compound lah hahahahah but major abit, then take pictures of it. Our teacher decided to let us decorate one of our school's wall! The other classes had already painted it blueeeeeeee~ And then our job is to decorate! Which means draw lah, and paint colours on them! Super excited one cus that drawing is mineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I sketched it and then teacher was super satisfied with my drawing loh!!! So harmony ah my drawing hahahaha! I must tell every people I know that the painting was done by me!! XD I'll post the picture up if the wall is done! :P Oh it's a bus with different races on, race car AHAHHAHAHA LOLLLLLLLLLLLL. Got Indian, Chinese and Melay!! Ohohohoho super excited one, why am I so creative ah, must write my BIG BIG name on it hahahahhaha!!! *By the way, just told my father hahahahahhaha and he asked me what would I get in return =.=* 

Again, CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING SOOOOOOOON!!! By the way I enjoyed this Saturday! :D It's a great day for me! Got alot of scratchings from Jordin (I simply spelt his name one), btw Jordin is a golden retriever hahahahahah! A puppyyyyyyyyyyy!! Dawwwwwwwwwww super cute one!!! But he won't sit still to let me touch him hahahahha. And my poor Dolphy (Simply spelt her name also), aiya Jennifer(spelt her name correctly! XD) so easy to get jealous one hahahahah!!

Oh I joined 舞之恋, ohohoho it's an annual event in our school's Chinese Club! It's all about danceeeeeeeeeeeeee, :p. Wanted to join that event from the start already but never have the courage to do so, this year is my last year mah, so I gained all my courage and also some randomness and joined hahahhaha! Along with my bamboo friend hahahhaha. :P

Btw bamboo if you saw this,
.sselesu ton era uoy

Hehehhehe peace x.