Yea, I'm just THIS lazy.

That's a flaw, duh, but it has its pros too hehehehe

idk what i'm trying to say now.

hoping shushan finishes her assignment soon and we can go to have dinner~~~ XD

I want to be trouble-free!! :D And the best way is to, do what you know is the best

I think I know who I am, 

I'm His daughter :D

I'm not pretty nor smart, I'm just His lamb

Told you. You shouldn't have put your hopes high. I don't want you guys to read my stupid rants everyday so could you kindly skip this post hahahaha 

Because I'm just soooooo very very very very wu liao. And words cannot explain why I'm sad, actually not only words, but nothing could actually explain. 

I just felt like, 安静的思考lol by思考 I mean 白日梦哈哈哈哈

为什么我那么无聊啊啊啊啊啊 真的很无聊 每次为了同样的东西反复失望 那种悲剧你明白吗哈哈哈

明明就可以忽略掉 省略掉的东西 却被我拿来烦自己 有没有看过跟我一样白痴的哈哈哈 一定没有 因为如果我白痴的话全世界都是大白痴

不好意思心情很不好很想乱乱打字 很想回到以前不介意别人看法的时候 只需要考虑到自己喜不喜欢 讨不讨厌 白就是白 黑就是黑 男生讨厌女生 女生讨厌男生 讨厌吃青菜 讨厌吃葱 讨厌吃大蒜 讨厌考试 讨厌读书 讨厌上学 讨厌睡觉 讨厌起床 讨厌太阳 讨厌下雨 讨厌妈妈不给我出去骑脚车 讨厌爸爸不给我养狗 讨厌姐姐不给我用她的东西 讨厌哥哥不跟我讲话 讨厌玩game输掉 讨厌maple没有钱 讨厌吃不完担心妈妈骂 讨厌坐van没有位子 讨厌当值日生 讨厌他们讲我矮冬瓜 讨厌大家都很有钱 讨厌流浪猫狗没食物 讨厌以前的自己 

很想很想重新来过 慢慢回味 细细品尝 每一分每一秒 时间它真的有翅膀 一不小心看似很多 其实很少的时间 慢慢流逝 

一不小心 就没了当初的天真 

不需担心体重 不需担心肤色 不需担心钱 不需担心健康 不需担心现实 不需担心没有朋友 因为自己可以跟自己玩 

那种很淳朴的日子 

再也回不去

现在有的是

谁在追你

衣服哪里买的

裤子哪里买的

mango有sale

padini有sale

看什么电影

去哪里玩

用什么电话 

好想躲在被子里面 一辈子不出来 就这样 

好想不哭

Everyone can be pretty, but not everyone can be beautiful inside. I want to be beautiful, not some some pretty stuff people doesn't take serious of. I want to be me, not the girl you think is pretty.

I didn't mean I'm pretty btw don't get jerky, I just wanted to say what I really think about it. It's nice of you guys to say I'm cute and pretty and everything, but it saddens me, that I'm nothing except those. What am I? If I were not pretty. Would you still be my friend? Would you still stand by me? Would you still chat to me every single day without failing? Would you still do everything you're doing to me now?

I'm scared. Of everything I might lose. If I'm not pretty.

They are so

Vain. 

This is the true reasons why I want to write a blog, to remind myself of my past and my thoughts.

I'm so blessed :') 

Thank you for everyone that has me on your mind. 

I can't be thankful enough 

But I must list them down

Thank you for Cier Valerie Chang Tricia Wanqing Jingtian yongsheng Leywen ahkai MY PARENTS and everyone else!!!!! Thank you for being in my life T T I can't be grateful enough

And most importantly, my lord Jesus and my father God. 

Father, I have committed so many sins that I shouldn't 

But you're still with me no matter what I did. And I'm truly grateful!!! My dear lord, there is not perfect human, but only my perfect God, so father I pray, that you will bless me with a forgiving heart, so that I will not magnify others' flaws, but focus on their kindness and good. Father I pray, that I will realize and always remember that you're the only true God of mine, and remember your presence is always with me. Father I want to behave like you, I want people to think of you whenever they see me, I want to tell them, we, as the sons and daughters of God behave in this way. Father I want to reject and stand against all the temptations and challenges I face. Father I want to rely on you, for you're the key to every single questions :') how silly am I to think that it's possible for me to solve my problems on my own???? With you, everything is possible! Father I pray that you'll boost my faith in you and trust in you!! Father I want to preserve the habit to pray every single morning I open my eyes, and father, I need your help in order to do that my dear father. I'm truly sorry for everything I had done and I pray I will remember all these mistakes I had made and never repeat them again. 

Love your neighbors like you love me, I know :) father I love you sooo much, and the love just come in a bundle and they are overflowing!!!!! You're my one and only king :D

Spread the love. In Jesus' name I pray, amen!!!!

Bad habit

I have this very bad habit which is I am very lazy to reply to texts..... 

Can anyone actually relate ah or is it just me??? 

It's actually like

I saw you sent me texts, but I might be watching a video or playing game or doing something else which causes the fact that I did not reply you immediately, and then by the time I finished doing what I was doing I forgot you texted me.... Until I pulled down that notification bar of mine and realized woah dem texts ppl send me

And then it'd be too late for me to respond by then 

So I did not reply

And the vicious loop continues with different characters and time HAHHAA

BUT ANYWAY

I love you all nonetheless T T 

I'll try to reply texts you all send me ah

I'm sorry for not replying soon enough T T PLS dun get mad

Esp Tricia Valerie Chang and Jingtian lol

:'( 我对不起你们啊！！！

Sorry not sorry hahahaha 

Midnight hungry sensation lmao 

We finally bought a mirror!!!! By mirror I mean full-sized mirror not the pea-sized one ok

Looked really tall and slim here so ignore the milo I don't care about him 

And also can ignore the mountain boar that photobombed me hahahaha joke lah joke chill women 

So hepi

What promise did you actually want to say wth where got people like that one drop a bomb then went to sleep Babi lah 

Not the whole essay but yea, haven't written an English essay for SOOOO long and it excites me when our tutor asked us to complete the essay 😆😆😆 

I think I wrote pretty well but all my tutor gave me was a smile and a nod.

IT IS ENUPHF HAHAHA 

The gang I am usually with when I'm in school! They're so lovely!!! 

Oh wait

Still not all of them but yea

A much needed wake-up call

I don't know???? 

Am I that embarrassing to be shown to your clique? Lol

Zzzzz this frustrates me so much, I couldn't bear another blow of that!!! 

Economic Assignment

Hi it's me again there'll be no one else of course this is my blog lol hahahaha

by the way i have something super awesome to tell!! A boy that I've met on maple story, actually goes to the same university I go!!!!!! it's so cool lol, he told me that he saw me in UTAR's library and i was like noooooo way you're lying!! but then he said he saw me at Block C's cafeteria as well, and i was thinking woah he knows the blocks' names ah then should be real leh. And then he said that i'm always with a girl, no doubt it's shushan and yea it's actually really me!!!!

what are the chances people you meet online goes to the same school as you?!?!?

ok by the way i want to say that i've completed my economy assignment!!!!!! piak piak piak!!! rounds of applause please!!! but i'm only responsible for 2 pages though........ BUT STILL HAHAHA

and the English's assignment which is the radioplay, it concerns me.... there is one member of our group, she has a different view from us. she wants to make everything easy and simple and just finish the radioplay like that....
but the rest of us wanted to perform well! it stands for 35 marks in our total final mark, and i wouldn't risk it to get like 20??? I want to get full mark!!! And i know i can if i finish the script well and make sounds effects and everything! I can do it! :( but she's saying that she has a lot of assignments to do and she's scared that she won't have enough time to do so. BUT NO I WANT TO MAKE THE RADIOPLAY FABULOUS :(

we'll see how it goes :(
going to bath??? going to revise my maths. having test on Wednesday!! God bless me :D

说好的节省呢？？说好的要好好省钱到底跑去哪里了😥 

一定要开始好好节省开销 不必要的就都不要去了 你一定可以的😠 

爸爸妈妈在家里感觉什么东西都给我了 我却在这里烦恼一下无聊且白目的事情 zzzz 每次想到就很愧疚 该醒醒了吧 😠 不要忘记当初自己决定好的是什么

然后插话一下 天啊！！！！ 姐真的花了好多钱啊！！！！才一个月不到？！？！ 真的快疯了 T T 

Where I tore my past into two and showed you the bad ones.

Thank you for handling it so well 

该讲的已经讲了 

该吓的已经吓了

所以如果真的走了 

姐也不会惊讶所以趁热走吧 :D 

I think I might get suffocated by all these unknown stress and finally become crazy.  

And you finally can understand why people would think of suiciding to get away from all these problems. 

Chill lah to everyone who'll be reading this okay??? I'm just ranting, I'm not going to suicide I'm not THAT idiotic yet

It's just that I can relate to their feelings, of helplessness, and oblivion. 

It's like death is the key to all the solutions. If I died, all the problems would just turn into ashes, disappear. So why bother to live?

I don't know, because it's fun??? Because if you died they're going to be sad?? Or because if you died there will be no more happily ever after?

I don't know. Enlighten me. 

What is freaking life when you know you're just going to die anyway.

Live, perform, struggle, die.

Freaking hate it when it comes to money. 

Like a needle pricking my bubbles of dream, telling you that, hey, come back to reality.

And it tasted like, shit.

So what if you have all those suitors?

So what if you use a better phone than others?

So what if you're wearing branded clothes? 

So what if you think you're higher class than others? 

So what if you look a little more uncommon than others?

So what????????

They don't matter if you don't have money anyway. 

You're still the ant struggling to escape from the human's finger, a k a 

Reality.

Puppet

It was like a string that's pulling on my heart, and I was a puppet. Whatever he did, said, were pulling the strings on my heart. I took a pair of scissors, tried to cut the strings, the moment the blade touched the strings, the moment before I decides to cut them, he talked. And scissors melted and became butterflies. And I was again a puppet. Dancing up and down, left and right, with the weight of his words. 

Nah uh hahahaha!!!! Good morning. 

What if he's as shallow as any other boy I've met? What if it's this ugly skin that's attracting him? What would happen if this was not my skin? What would he think when he knows I'm not a perfection? 

Why am I thinking all these stupid things like wtf I just wanted to sleep and I COULD NOT BCOS I GOT INSOMNIA BCOS I SLEPT IN THE FREAKING EVENING!!?!??!?

And good luck Valerie Chang :D I didn't know that spontaneous quote inspired you hahahahaha, it was so stupid 😂

And good luck Tricia!!! This is very frustrating and probably annoying since everyone would've said the same thing but, leave it to God and if this is the right path for you, it will be. Ah but the waiting sucks, the add-on that comes along with the blessing! 

Ok it's 7 minutes to 10 and I have class in 11, it sucks when you could have maybe 12 hours of sleep since it's 11pm class but you had insomnia and only had 4 hours of sleep grrrrrrrrr

I'm so long winded. Bye 

姐想说 

就是那么神奇啊 原本乱糟糟的心情一扫而空 可是我和他说过啦～他觉得可以的话就let it be 总之听他的就对了 我就这样下去就是了 

肚子好饿 减肥计划肚子还是一样大！！！

减肥计划第二天😭

明天十一点的课～希望明天太阳乖乖在云后面可以吗 不要下雨也没关系 就和今天一样凉凉的吧 :D

心情很愉快但肚子却很饿的复杂心情 哎

再见晚安👋 😁

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

HE HAS DID IT AGAIN.

OMG how I love my wonderful God, I don't know, it's just so sweet and loving. I don't know, I can't say this, I really love him so much. There were times where I prayed, that God would soften my family's hearts, so they could accept Him.

And then, this happened.

My drug addict uncle has decided to turn to God. And decided to try to give up drugs!!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!! He's did it again!!!!!!! Another aunt of mine also decided to turn to God!!! And has decided to get rid of her previous gods!!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

I really cannot explain how happy I am, how relieved I am, how glad I am!!!!

My father has also accepted prayers from the pastor!!!! Can you imagine?!?!?! MY FATHER the one who used to chant the Buddha scripts!!!! 

Oh what can I do???? 

This is, so amazing, so stunning.

:'D I love you!!!!!!!!

I'm again awed by you my lovely Father!!!!! I want to be by your side, I want to be by the King of the world's side!!!!!!  I want to be closer to you my Lord, it's just.... I don't know. I'm willing to act like you, and listen to you!!!!

I bow down before you :'D

I know I'm no one to say this, but I really had to, need some platform for me to rant so here it is hahaha

So twitter and tumblr always have really funny jokes for us to laugh at, they're normally offensive and racist but I grant that they are actually pretty funny. But then they just need to know that, jokes are jokes. They need to realize the purpose of jokes, they are made to entertain, not to offend. So as you make your offensive comments and you think they are funny. 

No.

They are actually not funny at all. 

Because they're no jokes, they are offensive comments

Imitating the style of the Caucasians are not cool at all, I don't mean that it's wrong when you practice their culture except when it's in a freaking bad way.

No learning Caucasians are not cool, making offensive comments are so NOT COOL 

:( I think I didn't make my points clear but oh well let's just leave it there.

I just don't like how they think they're cool when they make offensive comments and say I'm just being me

It's wrong when being you is offensive

Change it then 

I grant, that I regretted on buying new balance. Since like it's quite expensive???? And I know it's pretty I like it a lot and it goes with almost any outfits, but yet the thing I'm so disappointed with the shoes is because it's fragility. The fabrics on the shoes are super weak......

The shoelaces are a little broken??? Like 破掉 a little part wtf

I was like why??? It's not like I've wearing it abusively???!!! And the linings of the shoes, 磨掉了 

I'm just, pure speechless zzzzz

And I must say, I'm not bright at all, but some are just not even close to it. 

You really have to deal with your own shit alright? Not me dealing with them for you, it's your problem.... I could share I could give opinions j could help but not dealing with the whole shit by my own!!!! You need to start to get concerned by it and not me ok? :( 

Just some rants, no biggi

那四年，我们好像很有钱，走进宿舍的时候会买一杯连老爸都捨不得买的饮料。
那四年，我们好像很有钱，想着要替男女朋友买什麽礼物，回家的时候却不能给妈妈买一条最便宜的项鍊。
那四年，我们好像很有钱，爸妈的手机只有电话和简讯的功能，它的价值不足我们一个月的生活费，
然而它最大的意义是在你需要的时候它会告诉你爸爸妈妈在惦记着你。

什麽时候，我们忘记了自己儿时做英雄的念头，只学会了在餐厅裡叫着上菜上酒。
什麽时候，网络的虚拟变成生活的虚荣，让你和别人聊天时不以为耻，反以为荣。
什麽时候，爸妈不再讲他们过去的苦日子，而从腰带上挤出儿女的灯红酒绿。
什麽时候，我们学会中午醒来先用脚趾打开桌上的电脑，拨给麦当劳的外送电话。

父母吃尽千辛万苦送我们来这样一个可读可不读的大学，而我们却替父母享受着他们永远享受不到的幸福。
大学的魔力是让人觉得所有的虚荣都是心安理得。
但我依然不知道大学应该在我的生命裡赋予什麽意义，只记得老爸常说：要想好好的生活，每一分钱都有它的意义。

那四年，我们真的没有钱。儘管你嘴裡唱的尽是社会裡的花花绿绿、爱我爱你。
那四年，我们真的没有钱。当你有能力赚钱的时候便不再把无知当作个性。
那四年，就让它只是那4年，我希望我们未来会很有钱，让爸妈过上幸福的日子，去补偿曾经为了向父母要钱而说过的谎言。

我们的大学之路，即承载了我们个人学习的责任，也承载了家长、老师、亲朋好友的期待，如果仅仅以一张大学的门票回报他们，未免过于轻贱。
四年大学毕业时的纍纍硕果，才对得起这张门票，无愧于这四年最好的青春年华。

To remind myself :') and all of you out there 

很想去找你聊天 讲废话 扯东扯西

可是我知道这只是我现在的冲动

你可以承受找他之后的后果吗 

God's wrath, for God does not like this behavior. 

No wonder temptations' called temptations. Because they are just so freaking tempting. I'll just wait, and listen to His instruction, because if he thinks it's okay, then it will be. If it does not, then it's just 

Pure challenging zzzzzz

Pretty please? :( 

Trouble trouble trouble

Don't know if I'm just worrying too much over my studies or I really should be THAT worried.

And a lot of temptations happened, will I still stand against them? Can I? Will I?

Anyway

There are just simply too many thoughts going on in my mind to be put into words. They're just overflowing and tiring me all the time. I was supposed to sleep at like 10.30 just now but I missed lol

Not literally missed but yea

I love my family so much.  

I love my friends so much.

I love my God so much. :')

I should go to sleep.

Goodnight :D 

 看过人家瘦到有酒窝 可是没看过肥到酒窝出来的lol 好啦单纯想po照片哈哈啊

foundation时间过超快的

什么都还没学到的感觉 突然要考试了 什么囖 我决定要早睡了每天不然不够睡 😥 晚安

废废废废话

很累很想睡 可是我想读书

ok我读到十点半 我决定了我现在上楼了 如果很热我就下来读 如果不热 楼下的风扇怎么办lol就这样吧 

最近真的很热 我一边上楼一边打字哦厉害吗 到门口了 

shushan锁门 什么嘛

开门了 真的很热我拿东西 然后下楼 你等我哈哈哈 

好了我回来了 刚才跟突然的跑去冲凉 因为实在是热 

因为不知道要读什么 所以把整个书包带下来了不然还要上楼拿 lol

好了我去读书了 

再见👋 annyeong 

Big bad bug

Yes, as what I wrote in the title, this bug is really very disturbing!!! It was SO BIG and at first we just thought it was some 'gu'. And who knows, it happened to be some kind of froggish insect?!?! AND IT FLIES ZZZZ

I cannot think of anything that's scarier than this (for now) 

And we screamed like the sky was falling 👍😂 

And thanks to our housemate, I forgot his name but thank you!!!! Really T T 

Even though he added a little element of blame hehehe, he told us we could have just asked them for help instead of screaming like siao lol

Okay for your information, we didn't scream all the way when that bug is in our room, we screamed when it flies and when it comes near us. That should do us some justice.... Did they? LOL

Anyway, it's just pure scary T T and exciting as well lmao me and shushan were so afraid and all we could do were running around in the room hahaha

Oh and I installed iTunes in shushan's laptop! And I finally play songs in my iTunes like normal users hahaha

Or not?

Today pink-face jiacheng came to find us in the library, very much appreciated. :D 

I don't know why, but I like to talk to them so much! They are SO humorous I must must must emphasize. And they make me feel like myself again! Despite all the white eyeballs I might been thrown at???

And I'm hungry again after all the big bug fuss lmao HAHAHHA

But I'm not going to eat now duh relax

I didn't read much today.. I was do distracted and I couldn't focus on my text, so I thought I would give myself some rest???? Lol like I don't have enough rest

YA I THINK I DONT HAVE ENOUGH REST IM STILL NOT ASLEEP NOW ITS 1:19am 

Okay I'll try to sleep now, goodnight 😁

Rants and rants and zzzz

Because I know they'll never see this so I'm going to write it down here 

So today there was I, again in the situation that my friend is hiding me up again. Not literally, but the same meaning. I've met quite some friends, they don't like people to know my existence, I don't know why either. Maybe I'm too hideous? Or I'm just a shame to them? Nah, I know they just don't want to expose me to their friends, or their clique, something like that. As weird as it sounds.

So today there was I. Again in the situation, I was eating with two guys and shushan

And both of the boys have girlfriends already, which don't bother me at all, of course lol. And a girlfriend called one of the boy, and the first thing he did before doing the gesture to answer the phone call, was another gesture to put me in silent. The shh sign. I hated that. A lot.

But what could I say? He doesn't want his girlfriend to know I'm there, even though it's really just pure friendship between all of us. 

I don't know, I just dislike that kind of feeling that I'm being hidden again. I was thinking, am I such an embarrassment to them? That they can't let their friends know about my existence? Talked about it with shushan, and of course she solved  this question of mine. She said, if they didn't want their friends know about us, why would he borrow the helmets FROM his friends?

Yea being the sensitive eening in the midnight, that's what I'm usually thinking anyway.

I'm just afraid of the past repeating itself again. 

How long will it take to let this fade away

OCD

😔 I blame my OCD

Because from the symptoms I got from wiki, this is also one of them :(

Keep thinking about a sad thing which bothers the patient a lot and couldn't forget about it for a long time until time passes.

And this is what I'm currently doing, and I thought this torment was over, and I thought I already forgot about it, and I thought it wouldn't bother me anymore, and I thought I could withstand this ache.

But my brain wouldn't allow this to happen, I should've known better.

Or I should put it as, I (already capitalized cannot be capitalized again) am the one who is stopping myself from forgetting. I don't know how and I hate it too, but I don't know hot to get freaking rid of it. 

I JUST DONT WANT TO THINK OF HIM ANYMORE 

And no one would understand how is this so unforgettable, so I'd rather just keep it to myself instead if explaining to everyone who will never understand.

It's late, I should sleep, but I refuse to. And this is a vicious loop. Goodnight 

真的会被我们家的网线气死

说真的开学的第一堂数学课 真的是蛮容易的 变成没有那么紧张它 然后又刚好是中学学过的 

结果全忘光光 lol

越做下去 越发现 真的不是我想的那么简单 开始觉得自己很白痴lol 把数学想成很容易那样 其实真的还是一直要努力 

accounting 就别说了 miss掉一个lesson 害我不上不下这样 前面和后面会 中间不会 lol 真的很无奈 要读note的时候发现 是要在lecture的时候 fill in the blank的 可是我们就没去啊 所以没得读 悲剧 哈哈哈

想要好好地读书 至少做到比以前好 

可能god就是知道如果我认识人了 会开始花心吧 所以把可以认识人的机会几乎都断绝 可能性也降低 可是在大学不就是要交友广阔吗。。。而且大家对我的期望可不可以不要这么高

说什么一个月内会交到男朋友

全班痴迷lol 我差点把早餐吐出来

什么蜜蜂

虽然我也很想跟你们讲有 可是真的没有 我也很伤心 所以别说了 哈哈哈 

在学校碰到维肯和嘉诚超级开心的 我们终于也有朋友了哈哈哈 不然最后一次笑得那么开心那么疯狂那么丢脸是多久以前啊 以前都是最丢脸的那个 和张瑞俐和赖婉亲称霸天下哈哈哈 完全不顾场合 真的很怀念 在这里只有怕安静的淑珊 虽然最近和以前比真的差很多 可是当我提出很疯狂的idea的时候他都会拒绝 好桑心 

好像再次拍疯狂的video 在public places笑得超疯狂让全部人厌烦哈哈哈 好变态 

好想再次变成许伊宁 :(

人家也要交朋友嘛～～～ 跟我坐朋友可以吗 please 哈哈哈

瓦老三更半夜了 难怪写的东西这么古怪

想说我会好好的做数学 不轻视了 

对了英文 今天英文课很好笑 

因为就有listening practice这样 答案其实我都大概有写到 只是要回答的时候 不敢回答 我怕我那种自信感会让人讨厌哈哈 至少如果是我会讨厌啦 就是哇一直回答的那种 可是真的到了很难的题目的时候 我真的会忍不住回答 hahahah

老师今天问 cliché 怎么读 寂静了差不多5秒 我真的忍不住了 趁老师还没把答案说出来的时候 回答了 then老师给你的那个赞扬

真的是

爽

哈哈哈哈哈哈

好啦我很vain啦怎样 我承认了你就不可以讲我了哈哈 

做数学做到现在 其实是一点半 然后开始上网到现在

AA啊啊好想认识朋友

维肯给的tips是 早进班 然后认识朋友 

我可以吗可以吗真的可以吗？？？

会不会被当成神经病lol

就算是神经病也是美丽的神经病哈哈哈

今天馨慧跟我讲他要吃ou ah mee sua

我说好啊我煮给你 他讲不要等下中毒

我说错了 是幸福的中毒

哈哈哈哈哈哈

真的半夜不适合说话 讲的都是废话

哎呀blog就是拿来讲废话的吗

leywen说要寄东西上来给我 真的很感动 为什么他们对我那么好 TT 每次不会你们的信息真是不好意思 你们还愿意把我当天使真的是太感谢你们了

承认来了这里真的会忘了找你们

But you guys are always on my mind :D

I'm pretty sure about it!

And I haven't prayed in such a long time, except for some little prayers before food in my heart, don't even know if they count since sometimes I forgot to pray then eat a few mouthfuls le then start praying hahaha

Lord father, I'm so so sorry that I haven't prayed to you for such a long time, I haven't spent time with you for such a long time! But father I thank you for bringing me to that church. Even though the people there scared me a little, but still they're so nice and warm to me!!! 

Father I pray that you'll teach me how to be merciful to others again, father I've been gossiping others for so much, and I pray that you'll give me the strength to control and stop this bad habit of mine. Father I know I've been acting like a strayed lamb these days. I didn't rely on you but myself instead, I think that's the worst mistake I've made and that made my life more miserable than it should be.

Father I also pray that I'll get companions in school, that I'll be able to join the big family of universities! Father please guide me on the right path, lead me on the way you want me to be! And I thank you for everything :D father I also pray that you'll bless me with a bigger heart that can forgive and accept people and behave like you, I've been behaving like satan lately and it's scaring me, I know they're all wrong but still I carried them along anyway. Father I pray for your help, and I'm so so so sorry that I've been a bad girl :( forgive my sins lord father, and I pray that you'll lead me closer to you my dear father. And thank you, for making my days better :) 

In Jesus' name I pray, amen!!!

真的会被我们家的网线气死

说真的开学的第一堂数学课 真的是蛮容易的 变成没有那么紧张它 然后又刚好是中学学过的 

结果全忘光光 lol

越做下去 越发现 真的不是我想的那么简单 开始觉得自己很白痴lol 把数学想成很容易那样 其实真的还是一直要努力 

accounting 就别说了 miss掉一个lesson 害我不上不下这样 前面和后面会 中间不会 lol 真的很无奈 要读note的时候发现 是要在lecture的时候 fill in the blank的 可是我们就没去啊 所以没得读 悲剧 哈哈哈

想要好好地读书 至少做到比以前好 

可能god就是知道如果我认识人了 会开始花心吧 所以把可以认识人的机会几乎都断绝 可能性也降低 可是在大学不就是要交友广阔吗。。。而且大家对我的期望可不可以不要这么高

说什么一个月内会交到男朋友

全班痴迷lol 我差点把早餐吐出来

什么蜜蜂

虽然我也很想跟你们讲有 可是真的没有 我也很伤心 所以别说了 哈哈哈 

在学校碰到维肯和嘉诚超级开心的 我们终于也有朋友了哈哈哈 不然最后一次笑得那么开心那么疯狂那么丢脸是多久以前啊 以前都是最丢脸的那个 和张瑞俐和赖婉亲称霸天下哈哈哈 完全不顾场合 真的很怀念 在这里只有怕安静的淑珊 虽然最近和以前比真的差很多 可是当我提出很疯狂的idea的时候他都会拒绝 好桑心 

好像再次拍疯狂的video 在public places笑得超疯狂让全部人厌烦哈哈哈 好变态 

好想再次变成许伊宁 :(

人家也要交朋友嘛～～～ 跟我坐朋友可以吗 please 哈哈哈

瓦老三更半夜了 难怪写的东西这么古怪

想说我会好好的做数学 不轻视了 

对了英文 今天英文课很好笑 

因为就有listening practice这样 答案其实我都大概有写到 只是要回答的时候 不敢回答 我怕我那种自信感会让人讨厌哈哈 至少如果是我会讨厌啦 就是哇一直回答的那种 可是真的到了很难的题目的时候 我真的会忍不住回答 hahahah

老师今天问 cliché 怎么读 寂静了差不多5秒 我真的忍不住了 趁老师还没把答案说出来的时候 回答了 then老师给你的那个赞扬

真的是

爽

哈哈哈哈哈哈

好啦我很vain啦怎样 我承认了你就不可以讲我了哈哈 

做数学做到现在 其实是一点半 然后开始上网到现在

AA啊啊好想认识朋友

维肯给的tips是 早进班 然后认识朋友 

我可以吗可以吗真的可以吗？？？

会不会被当成神经病lol

就算是神经病也是美丽的神经病哈哈哈

今天馨慧跟我讲他要吃ou ah mee sua

我说好啊我煮给你 他讲不要等下中毒

我说错了 是幸福的中毒

哈哈哈哈哈哈

真的半夜不适合说话 讲的都是废话

哎呀blog就是拿来讲废话的吗

leywen说要寄东西上来给我 真的很感动 为什么他们对我那么好 TT 每次不会你们的信息真是不好意思 你们还愿意把我当天使真的是太感谢你们了

承认来了这里真的会忘了找你们

But you guys are always on my mind :D

I'm pretty sure about it!

And I haven't prayed in such a long time, except for some little prayers before food in my heart, don't even know if they count since sometimes I forgot to pray then eat a few mouthfuls le then start praying hahaha

Lord father, I'm so so sorry that I haven't prayed to you for such a long time, I haven't spent time with you for such a long time! But father I thank you for bringing me to that church. Even though the people there scared me a little, but still they're so nice and warm to me!!! 

Father I pray that you'll teach me how to be merciful to others again, father I've been gossiping others for so much, and I pray that you'll give me the strength to control and stop this bad habit of mine. Father I know I've been acting like a strayed lamb these days. I didn't rely on you but myself instead, I think that's the worst mistake I've made and that made my life more miserable than it should be.

Father I also pray that I'll get companions in school, that I'll be able to join the big family of universities! Father please guide me on the right path, lead me on the way you want me to be! And I thank you for everything :D father I also pray that you'll bless me with a bigger heart that can forgive and accept people and behave like you, I've been behaving like satan lately and it's scaring me, I know they're all wrong but still I carried them along anyway. Father I pray for your help, and I'm so so so sorry that I've been a bad girl :( forgive my sins lord father, and I pray that you'll lead me closer to you my dear father. And thank you, for making my days better :) 

In Jesus' name I pray, amen!!!

Nonsense

Having internet access is so annoying, because I can rant anytime I want ZZZZ

Is that a good thing, actually?

Anyway, I really just

Cannot stand anything else besides than what I can accept and allow wth

Like I must control all the events that happened. And if something happened which is not in my plan or which I don't allow to happen, it just strikes me out. 

Like really blow up my mind like that and I cannot breathe wtf

It's my OCD actually, 强迫症 if you don't know. I want people to do stuffs in the way I allow or actually errrr I want. Like I do not want this kind of reaction and then poof there goes my anger meter. It's quite sick to be honest hahaha but it's me who are you kidding XD 

Don't know lah, trying to control this OCD of mine zzzz, any cure? Tell me if you actually know any way to cure this terrible illness. I'll appreciate you a lot :'( 

Back to the reality where lines are not drawn straight and tables are not tidy, and people asking stupid questions and answering you idiotic answers which they think are funny but they're actually not and people who can hear you but act like they couldn't and people with attitudes you do not like and people who act like they know everything and I hate myself zzzzzz

还有很多很想念的人

可是只有九长照片啦

对哦 不是可以一张一张放咯 你是白痴吗

I miss each and everyone of you 

Drowning in maths.... I'm going cray cray

With this bad mood of mine 

Going to strive through this night 

Must sleep early tonight 

So I can wake up early before night

Woah did I just make a poem

HAHAHA DOES IT COUNT????

Argh I hate my bad temper 

But why must you har leh why when you actually heard me 

Critical thinking said

CCCARFPL

Completeness

Clarity

Consistency

Accuracy 

Relevance

Forgot what F is sob cry

P also forgot sob

Logical correctness 

You're not clear enough, not consistent enough, not relevant enough, not precise enough 

Gosh I'm going to explode so hard

Hard

Hard

Rock

Hotel

The Beatles is so nice

And there she's talking to me again

I must take more than a few deep breathes, and start over again. 

WHY

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY MUST YOU HAR T T T T T T 

It frustrates me so much

Like after I repeated for N times you still cannot get it then when I finally got fed up and gave up on telling you that particular thing, you suddenly give me an answer to it

WHY

WHY

WHY

WHY

HAR???? zzzzzzzzzz

I'm so over this

Flawssssa

So, I must comment on my own flaws

You know ah recently I kept commenting on people's appearance. Be it good or bad, I do it all the time. Believe it or not.... It actually bothers me :( 

I don't know how to get rid of this terrible habit of mine. I think I know, but it's too difficult to control this tongue of mine. Ahh so ashamed T T

And I've been drowning into my phone so much. I think today can be considered as an improvement? Since i have lots of classes and don't even have time to touch it. Except for the time I called my mom! Heehee

And I also think that, shushan has been addicted to her phone as well. Then you'll see two person in the same room, but zero convo, except for stuffs like, want to grab a bite? Want to drink milo? Or little errands like that... 

It actually saddens me a little, but then what can do? Let's say, even IF she's not using her phone, what could we possibly do? Fight? Lol HAHAHHA

You know ah I've been observing her a lot. All she does besides playing her phone, is sleeping and lying on her bed and having deep thoughts that I do not know. 

I don't know, but let's start with the no phone thing. EVEN THOUGH I AM USING IT RIGHT NOW HAHAHA

Alright cya! Maybe later 😘 going to revise on my maths!!! Maths is so much better than science 👍👍👍👍 love it 

Gosh I'm totally hopeless. I'm still up even though I'm like super tired already. Guess what did I do ZZZZZ

Blame YouTube 😡😡😡 okay fine blame me too T T

I'm thinking to do a fasting on my phone, but I'm guessing if it's possible since like I have to call my mother and webcam with her? What solutions are there???

I thought of this, I'll ask shushan to keep my phone, since we're going to be together for like.... Er a lot? HAHA

Then if there's a call for me then I'll answer, and call my mom whenever I want to?? Is that okay 😅

Okay this starts from tomorrow, as well as my timetable, PLEASE FOLLOW T T AH ME 

Me oh me

Grrrr

Good luck on 8AM's class gosh 

8-10 11-1 2-3 6-7 

FOUR CLASSES WITH LIKE FIVE HOURS OF SLEEP?!?! Hurray 😭😭😭

Okay yes I'm definitely going to fast on iphone zzz

But it comes so handy.... THE TEMPTATIONS AS WELL GRRRR

Goodnight :'( 

Wrote by the girl who regretted on not sleeping earlier and watched YouTube videos instead.... 

BYE 

It's Sunday!

Hi, I'd just gone through an important (?) stage of my womanhood (?) LOL
not exactly, as it's not a compulsory stage for everyone. Anyway, I've only heard about period pain, and for this, I mean the excruciating stage of pain. I myself have had the minor period pain lol and I must say

IT'S LIKE ONE OVER TENTH OF THE MAJOR PAIN ZZZZZ

The story went like, my stomach started to ache, and I was like, oooh poop alert 
And I went to the toilet with my phone along DUH and like after, er too much details hahaha
Anyway after I thought I'd finished my business, my stomach actually was still aching, and I was lead to the thought that I still have more HAHAHA OMG GROSS *g in omg stands for gosh ps ps ps

And then I remained inside the toilet for like, 30 minutes? Aching like siao and cursing why isn't my poop coming out yet lol

And until shushan came and asked me what am I doing exactly in the toilet, i was like my stomach hurts so much. And then I realized I really stayed in the toilet for too long and I must give the toilet to shushan as she hasn't showered yet. It was 12am 

And when I got out, it was freaking cold omg I was shaking shivering trembling
My teeth were fighting each other like world war 2 
And I couldn't take it 
Note that I was only covered with my towel since I didn't bring any clothes in
Then I quickly wore my clothes and Shan asked me to go downstairs and get warm water
And off I went
Even though I was so cold lol 
And my cup isn't clean
I have to wash it, and the moment my palms were in connection with the first drop of water, it freaked me out!!!!! GOSH SO DAMN COLD AND NO HOT WATER COS HAVENT BOIL THEN I RUSH UPSTAIRS WITH THE STOMACHACHE AND LIKE CURL IN MY BLANKET LOL

Shan got all freaked out too hahahaha and she was like DO YOU NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR
And I was like no I just need to figure out what pain this is, because it linked to the.... Under part of my waist and upper part of my legs lmao hahahah

For a moment I thought my vagina has dropped..... I know it's lame but I've read about it in princess diaries and realized it's actually possible and I was so 
So
So
So

Freaked out.

And suddenly I remembered my period is somehow close, and the part of my body that hurts is somehow connected to period lol
And we quickly called Wanqing for further verification and she said yes and the rock that was on my heart is like, totally lifted up T T 
As long as it's not my vagina that has dropped lmao i thought because the time I stay on the toilet bowl is too long and caused my vagina to drop 

OMG I'm so cute hahahahaha

Okay and the rest of the pain is indescribable... You might have to go through yourself

For the vege that might actually read this post, I salute you for this pain for like every month  T T 

OKAY THATS ALL ABOUT MY SILLY PERIOD STORY WHICH I THOUGHT MY VAGAYGAY HAS DROPPED LOL

Goodnight !!! 
Oh and shoutout to Wanqing who was so nice to teach me every techniques she knows!! Love ya!