Whattttttttttt not

What did you want? What were you thinking? What did you expect? What did you imagine?
I just simply do not understand what these creatures are thinking in their pretty heads.
If you don't feel the same way like I do, then don't freaking make me misunderstood. I mean, how hard is that? To clarify things with me, and tell me what all this actually is.
What do I mean to you? A companion? A toy? A stuff to keep you entertained?
Maybe this is all too hard, maybe I did magnify things abit. But this is how I feel.
Cottoncandies are stuffed in my head, I can't think logically and what not. Just tell me what the hell I should do or think. What the hell am I to you?
Stop making butterflies out of my stomach and then leave me hanging there.

Wtf do you want oh my gosh
I'm so done with this, but no.
I hate that feeling that I clearly know that I'm not the only one you are talking to, not the special one, and 80% sure that we are not going to become like what I had imagined in my head BUT I JUST FREAKING CANT CONTROL MY FREAKING BRAIN TO IMAGINE THOSE STUPID LOVING SCENES AND ITS SO STUPID GOSH.
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, THAT THIS IS NEVER GONNA WORK OUT. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, THAT YOU WILL NEVER FEEL THE WAY THAT I DO. BUT I JUST CAN'T, HOLD BACK THIS FREAKING FEELINGS AND BUTTERFLIES AND WHAT NOT THAT I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW. THAT'S IT, I'M SO DONE WITH THIS. I'M GONNA BLOCK YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA SITES AND APPS AND EVERYTHING, AND i am just kidding i couldnt do it omg as much as I want to i'm sorry im a coward please don't mock or laugh at me ok fine go on i'm sucha loser gosh
And i know the day or any day or any time when you find me i'll sti reply you super gladly like a frigging biatch. =_= UGH
Ok get over it and sleep

Wonderstrucked

I did warn myself, to not step into that sweet trap of yours. but my heart won my brain, I put one of my leg in that trap. I realised, I repent, but my heart still hurts.

I guess candies didn't come for free.
And, what should I do?

It's always easier said than done. No matter how mad I could be at the moment, I can easily ease of my anger by a blink of an eye.
And idk if that's a good thing or not.
All the things they've taught me are too surreal, they are too good to be true. It usually did not consider the problems you might face in reality, ITS REALLY EASIER SAID THAN DONE. No matter how hard i try (maybe not that hard as I portrayed) I always lose to anger and disappointment.
Found out that I'm going backwards, back to the old me. The one who is always so impulsive and full of rage
Who can easily confront people (good or bad) with their flaws aiya and all the bads lah. And it scares me... I don't want to go back to the old me. :(

Stay pure, but how?

it's been so long since the last time i'm sitting in front of the desktop. and it feels, weird lol hahahha
haven't typed by using a REAL keyboard for sucha long time and it's making me feeling content???? idk????

so, just now boo T surprised me by a spontaneous visit at my home. and seriously i love this kind of surprise and it really made my day, or night. since it was night hehe
AND I GOT REALLY EGGCITED!!!
THANKS BOO
ok you asked me what boo is ok go google~  ^-^

and most of our dialogues were about these:

me: 诶你觉得我有变丑吗？
T: 没有啊！！！！
me: 骗我！
T: 真的没有！！
me: 不要再安慰我了 ;-;
T: 你知道的 我是不说谎的
me: 骗我！！！明明你就觉得我变丑可是你不敢讲出来对吗
T: 是拉是拉 对拉
me: 连你也觉得我变丑！！！！！！！！！

then it goes on and on and on until i got off her car HAHAHHAHA
it was so nice meeting you during that time since it was my hard time......... NAH NOT REALLY HAHAHHA

I miss all my boo's :'(
ever since I left my little pontian and joined the bigger town, JB, i've been missing out a lot. :(
but yea, i joined another community, or circle, ok whatever T.T which means I met a lot of new friends lah then things are changing so much.
I hate changes as much as I love them.
ya it's ironic............. BUT it does make sense doesn't it?
you see ah changes make things better, some times worse lah but mostly better for me. but then it IS NOT GOOD ALSO I DUNO HOW TO SAY I JUST HATE IT AND LOVE IT SO BIPOLAR T.T

andddddddddddddddddd, i'm super idiotic i must say argh. been taking myself as miss know-it-all for the half of my life and finally realising that i'm no better than others wtf hahahaha. ok fine scold me as much as you want i know i'm an arrogant bastard wahahah

BUT
i'm trying very hard to change lah but there are still people who always say that i'm lan ci which i think is a good start cos those names are from the boys. which means i learnt to distant myself from them already WHICH IS GOOD cos i fall in love like WHOOSH then the next minute i'm heartbroken like i dont know what the hell was going on but i'm sad blah

no lah those are just my imaginations i'm still very gullible............... ok maybe it doesn't seem so to the others BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY AHHHHHHHHHHH sometimes i'm so stupid i wanna slap myself but then hey it's the awesome me how to slap ah you teach me hahahaha

i have this thing stuck in my mind or heart for 1 day or more then i'm feeling really really frustrated becos it's too embarassing for me to tell anyone but I NEED TO DO IT so i'm gonna type them out ah!
bleh hehe

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Take me away from these annoying shits