My dad just called and asked me what's wrong

And i actually forgot what's making me sad already

Then all of a sudden he called to ask me and i was like

晴天霹雳 

I lied, i said, nothing's wrong, everything's going fine

And he said 你不要跟我讲没事 没关系

你不需要烦这些事情 我讲过学费才是最大的问题 只要你可以解决学费with ptptn 剩下的生活费没关系 我可以

就这样几句话把我完全瓦解 

My dad is like the most typical asian parents bcos he doesn't know how to express his feelings

So all the time he was like comforting me with scolding

And i feel so so loved 

总之你不要烦恼钱的问题

你好好读 就是对我们最大的报答

知道吗

乖

I am in the library i cannot say much

I also don't know what else to say 

Thank god for my wonderful parents

But I'm so so so sorry

If I hadn't fool around in sem1, probably none of this would happen... 

整三年的living expenses leh God

心脏很痛
心情很复杂
i tried

and it seems to work

不想用头脑不想想了
想了的东西都好负面
but i can't stop it

and the ugly truth is

i want people to tell me

i care

but i push away
people who say they care
and i build up walls
and i cry inside
endlessly


i am suffocating
i am so stressed out by nothing but myself