hi

wide awake at 1:14am.
felt like blabbering.
felt like typing without needing to think.
felt like numbing myself from all the reality
felt like extracting myself from this life which does not pause

i felt so empty
felt the urge
felt the need
felt the righteousness
felt tempted
felt corrupted
felt insecure
felt inferior
felt discouraged
felt

like shit.

I actually wanted to update what happened during my birthday but i feel like shit right now. I even turned on the computer just to update.
I haven't been to sunday service for like, almost 2 months?
I don't feel the need to, that's the problem.
I haven't prayed since I last did, which was quite a long time ago. Probably last week? I think yesterday because I was angry and nagging so I nagged to Him.

I feel so far from him, I wanna be close to him again. I want to do the right things again.
Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bugs bite.