Idk what actually will happen if it's not her, it'll be totally different. I'm really blessed, really really blessed. All the people around me are really generous and forgiving. I can't really imagine myself being with people unlike them.
I felt like I cannot talk fairly when that problem is dragging me.
I really really need to solve this problem as soon as possible.
Not for anything, but just to, yes, solve the problem.
Thank you and sorry. :(

hi

wide awake at 1:14am.
felt like blabbering.
felt like typing without needing to think.
felt like numbing myself from all the reality
felt like extracting myself from this life which does not pause

i felt so empty
felt the urge
felt the need
felt the righteousness
felt tempted
felt corrupted
felt insecure
felt inferior
felt discouraged
felt

like shit.

I actually wanted to update what happened during my birthday but i feel like shit right now. I even turned on the computer just to update.
I haven't been to sunday service for like, almost 2 months?
I don't feel the need to, that's the problem.
I haven't prayed since I last did, which was quite a long time ago. Probably last week? I think yesterday because I was angry and nagging so I nagged to Him.

I feel so far from him, I wanna be close to him again. I want to do the right things again.
Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bugs bite.

Tidbits of my life

我知道你的很喜欢他我可以养她吗😭

可是责任真的很重大我不想因为冲动而做决定😭