Whattttttttttt not

What did you want? What were you thinking? What did you expect? What did you imagine?
I just simply do not understand what these creatures are thinking in their pretty heads.
If you don't feel the same way like I do, then don't freaking make me misunderstood. I mean, how hard is that? To clarify things with me, and tell me what all this actually is.
What do I mean to you? A companion? A toy? A stuff to keep you entertained?
Maybe this is all too hard, maybe I did magnify things abit. But this is how I feel.
Cottoncandies are stuffed in my head, I can't think logically and what not. Just tell me what the hell I should do or think. What the hell am I to you?
Stop making butterflies out of my stomach and then leave me hanging there.

Wtf do you want oh my gosh
I'm so done with this, but no.
I hate that feeling that I clearly know that I'm not the only one you are talking to, not the special one, and 80% sure that we are not going to become like what I had imagined in my head BUT I JUST FREAKING CANT CONTROL MY FREAKING BRAIN TO IMAGINE THOSE STUPID LOVING SCENES AND ITS SO STUPID GOSH.
EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, THAT THIS IS NEVER GONNA WORK OUT. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, THAT YOU WILL NEVER FEEL THE WAY THAT I DO. BUT I JUST CAN'T, HOLD BACK THIS FREAKING FEELINGS AND BUTTERFLIES AND WHAT NOT THAT I AM HAVING RIGHT NOW. THAT'S IT, I'M SO DONE WITH THIS. I'M GONNA BLOCK YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA SITES AND APPS AND EVERYTHING, AND i am just kidding i couldnt do it omg as much as I want to i'm sorry im a coward please don't mock or laugh at me ok fine go on i'm sucha loser gosh
And i know the day or any day or any time when you find me i'll sti reply you super gladly like a frigging biatch. =_= UGH
Ok get over it and sleep

Wonderstrucked

I did warn myself, to not step into that sweet trap of yours. but my heart won my brain, I put one of my leg in that trap. I realised, I repent, but my heart still hurts.

I guess candies didn't come for free.
And, what should I do?

It's always easier said than done. No matter how mad I could be at the moment, I can easily ease of my anger by a blink of an eye.
And idk if that's a good thing or not.
All the things they've taught me are too surreal, they are too good to be true. It usually did not consider the problems you might face in reality, ITS REALLY EASIER SAID THAN DONE. No matter how hard i try (maybe not that hard as I portrayed) I always lose to anger and disappointment.
Found out that I'm going backwards, back to the old me. The one who is always so impulsive and full of rage
Who can easily confront people (good or bad) with their flaws aiya and all the bads lah. And it scares me... I don't want to go back to the old me. :(

Stay pure, but how?