THOUGHTS B4 I SLP

My mind is running so fast till i can't comprehend them into words.
Hi, I'm the midnight monster who's here to omnomnomnomnom
Alright i'm nowhere near the topic today lol
I was introduced to this son;

"What Are Words"

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see

Where every single promise I'll keep
Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I'll keep
Cause what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

I've gotta admit that, I've been feeling super dry lately, if you don't know what that means, well, don't ask, you'll figure it out pretty soon after reading all the bullshit i'm going to write.

I mean this song and some other videos i watch today, kind of really, blew my mind away.

Not literally but, yea, was pretty mind blowing to me.

She's literally my new woman crush, she might've just broke up, she might be different in real life, she might be just good at talking, but I don't really care. I'm just thankful that I got to know her and watched all her freaking videos. AND DAYUM, not only is she funny, sexy, smart, mature, and every good personalities (I might be exaggerating but you should totes check her out on youtube), her youtube channel is annaakana and i'll leave her to your judgements! 

Anyway, she just inspired me to just, stop chasing after love, at least bgr that is. 

I was like how??? How can we live without love? 

I love my family, I love God, I love human beings, I love dogs and cats. 

but the love she meant was bgr, like we're constantly being in and out of relationships (or is it just me) and we, alright I, was never committed to myself. By committed I don't mean like the normal narcissistic people you see around, it's about loving yourself, who you truly are, genuinely embracing who you are. 

I'm being completely honest here, sometimes i feel like shit. I feel like I'm literally just shit, and there's nothing good in me. Why? 

Because the society freaking made the standards of what 'good' is. And yea, no one forced me to measure myself according to that freaking stupid standard, but I did, anyway, probably still will. 

They overrated appearance of human beings, instead of what is important, the inside. The body that contains you, all of you. 

I'm pretty off-topic right now but gah whatever I'll just stick to whatever that comes to my mind. 

The society/people around us advertise love, bgr, looks, sizes.

but yea in the end, we'll all rot in the soil, we'll all die, so really, does it matter? 

Well yea, it pretty much still matters but isn't it a little too overrated? 

It was ALL that was on my mind, seriously. 

How do I look today? 

Am I pretty?

And now that I think of it, that is some pretty cheap thoughts over there. :/ 

I won't even try to deny the thoughts of mine, which is constantly trying to find a date, a boyfriend, even a husband lol everytime i see a *note HANDSOME guy. 

what if he's rotten inside? what if he's a psychopath who likes SM?? 

I'll never know.

Ain't I just acting like an animal in its mating season and trying to mate???? LIKE HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M JUST A DRY ANIMAL HERE THAT NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION, AND CARE.

That does sound pretty awesome, lmao. 

BUT WHATEVER.

I'm just gonna fight this thought, i'm stop taking every *HANDSOME guy as my preys (wtf) anymore.

I'm just going to wait for the right one He arranged for me and stuff.

I'M JUST SO MIND-BLOWN BY ANNA DON'T MIND MY RUBBISHNESS OVER HERE.

She's inspired me in so so so many ways, and gosh I just wanna be her.

LET ME BE YOU I WANNA BE FULL OF AWESOMENESS!!!????

Alright, so goals:

1. STOP TAKING EVERYONE AS MY FREAKING PREYS?

2. Oh and I've heard this quote for like a million times; The likes attract to each other. THEREFORE, I wanna become better and stop whining that there is no 'better' guy.

3. I WANT TO LOVE AND EMBRACE MYSELF *CUDDLES MA BACK

4. I want to gain a skill. Idk what it should be, any suggestions?? A few options though, sports? errrr there isn't any that doesn't require sun so i guess no??? :p I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO LEARN PIANO :> But it's exp as hell so let's just forget it. Yoga? I've been thinking bout dizzzzz, we'll see. Dance? We'll see bout this as well. :B WHAT ELSE?!?!?!?

5. I wanna read as much as i could!!! (just... not textbooks...)

6. I WANNA THROW AWAY THE HABIT OF GOSSIPING

7. I wanna be honest! :D to both myself and others!

8. I wanna be nice to others, WE'RE JUST FUKEN HUMAN BEINGS!!!! WE'RE BOUT THE SAME??? TRYNA FIND A PURPOSE TO LIVE HERE???

Er is that too much hehehehhe

Okay going to sleep buhbye!!!