but you will move on

they say: 'you don't understand, you don't understand how much it hurts. that's why it's easy for you to say stuffs like just let go.'
but they don't know, i understand that feeling better than anyone, or so i thought.
the feeling after a breakup, no matter how long or short the relationship was, is devastating.
you felt like your heart is torn into pieces.
your life fell apart
you are not whole anymore.
everything that you are already used to, has changed.
you don't plan your activities just to fit his schedule anymore
you don't wait for the time when he is free so you can call him
you don't wait for the arrival of weekend so you guys can hang out
you don't wait for the opportunities where he holds your hands, or maybe kisses on your cheek
you don't get the chance to have a stomach full of butterflies when he mutters 'i love you' anymore

you don't orbit around him, anymore.

and it's devastating, heart-breaking and suffocating
every empty moment becomes unbearable and you feel extra lonely.
you don't know what to do anymore, without him, without us existing.
the promises you guys made before the breakup floats around
every little thing you see reminds you of him

and it's devastating, heart-breaking and suffocating
you felt like you're dying inside
you wonder what is wrong
you wonder why he said 'we're not for each other'
you wonder how he can just stop loving you when he said the phrase 'forever'
you wonder why you can't do the same, and just, stop loving him.
you try to get him back, you try to change yourself

but darling, that doesn't matter anymore
'we're not for each other' is just a lame excuse of a breakup.
he stopped loving you, that is it.
it hurts, plenty
and there's nothing you can do to stop it

you move on.
regardless of how much time it'll take
you will, move on.
and the process of moving on,
fucking hurts.