Year 2025

 Hello old and future me,

Writing this post on 17 March 2025, in Seoul, on my way to airport, ALONE. 

Can you imagine? Me? Travelling solo? As somebody who even whines when eating alone to travelling alone, i wasnt, but im now super impressed. Reading the last post reminded me of how far i have come to. 

Firstly, we should address the elephant in the rom, hows my rs with my new bf? Honestly, it has been alot of ups and DOWNS, trust the caps HAHAHA. I would say its alot better now? I’ve learned that i am flawed and i reflected alot. I used to be always right with ky and kendra, but ive come to realised how silly i was to think that. It took me a long time, but i have grown to understand how great it is to explore myself. I have become calmer, more patient, and understanding (not 100% but i definitely have improved from the mean petty angry girl). Reading my last post reminded me of how i always thought im the kindest and the victim, i am glad i have seen past it and in a better place now. 

And my, how i realise the time ACTUALLY heals. Shocking HAHAHA. I realised a slower pace is the way to do things, i am a very impatient and somebody who does things fAST (my way and might not be the best), now i have realised how slowing down actually makes me see things clearer, and while i wait it out, things actually turned out better. 

About Kendra, i have learned to let things go. Don’t misunderstand me, i still feel sad on and off when i think about her, the most recent episode being how she went to attend meiting’s wedding in Sitiawan, and was her jimui. I felt betrayed, because according to what she says, they’re not close? She always nags about her to me? Now she’s close enough with her to go attend the wedding and even become her jimui? Ok i guess wedding is fine la, but i saw from the stories she was all out taking videos for her and it made me felt very upset and betrayed lol. While she and i dont even talk anymore. But its fine, we all have to learn to move on, i still feel sad sometimes but i will have to make do.

During my years in SG, i have met many many good people, met a group of friends in KPMG, chehchee, lyning, melissa and juynn. They are the nicest and kindest to me TT they cheer me up and listen to me about my smallest littlest inconvenience hahaha. Okay this is mainly chehchee, there was once i had a very bad fight with chak, and she answered my call and comforted me till 3-4am. 

I am also still close with xt, xw, jt, ruili and tricia. In Dec 2024, xw and i travelled to fukuoka, and i drove there!!!!! Can you believe it XD it was fun but very tiring, i regretted taking up the driving role alone but now that i recall my times in Fukuoka, i have nothing but good memories. I guess it’s good that the brain works as it is, after some time, you forget the bad things and only remember the good and fun times. I hope it does the same for my solo Korea trip, cos i was quite upset carrying my own luggage. Eh actually it’s not exactly solo la, i met up with Mytan on my second day hahahaha, we shared airbnb to split the cost. Bad airbnb but happy ending in the end ba. He was v nice and considerate, abit smelly HAHA, but he was v helpful and carried my luggage for me TT even though i am very proud of myself travelling alone, i have realised that i am nOT a solo traveller HAHAHAHA i love companion i love talking, travelling alone kills me cos i dont get to interact with people. I did post on my mule IG account tho with like 6 audiences and they loved me :D btw in case i dont remember next time, i am here in Seoul for Aespa!! 

I am very rusty with writing English, there is something called chatGPT now, and people (I) rely on it alot, cos i dont think i can write good business english. 

About what i want to do in life, i still have no idea by the way LOL. But i am happy! I have started posting some videos on XHS, very very lazy to edit but i try my best ok, ive taken quite a bit of videos for my korea trip but not sure how they will turn out. Chehchee told me i dont really have to KNOW what i am doing, i just have to be happy, which i am now at this point of time, so i guess i am good.

I also have a very weird relationship with xt because i lowkey compete with her? She claims that she doesn’t do that with me but i abit doubt so (cos im thinking from my pov and it sucks) i should treat her better hahaha, i think shes like the old xw to me, except now i dont feel anything with xw, and i used to think she silent competes with me too!!! She also said she doesn’t so i guess xt is truthful. Hope next time when i come here my weird relationship with her has ended.

I am 29 this year!! So scary wtf approaching the big 3. Dont know how i feel about it yet because i still feel and think like a kid. My relationship with my family has become worse over the years in SG, and they all think ive changed after i become ‘richer’. I am close to reflecting, but i still refuse to, it pains me talking to my dad even the thought of it. But he is old already, same goes with my mum, so maybe i should try harder in mending my relationship with them. I didnt tell my family i came to korea though cos it’s alot of money to them (to me also but i yolo HAHA).

My train ride to the airport is 1 hour, and i think this blogpost has occupied 40 minutes of it, i love it! Was worried that i would be too bored and resort to watch stupid brainrot short cdramas on Youtube, but that is probably where i will go now, hope the queue later at the airport will be smooth!!!

Love you myself, jiayou in life!