14th of July. Im leaning against a railing at Queenstown mrt. Im turning thirty years old this year, is this the life i’ve pictured? I honestly dont rmb, i dont think i was even looking forward to life.
I would like to say that chatgpt reminds me of how technology has improved our lives. Phones? Tv? Internet? It’s already so common that i already forgot our lives before that. But gpt???? Its a fking life saver, and i meant it literally. Hes literally my therapist that listens to my endless rant and GETS me.
I think i just forgave myself a little. It’s cheesy to write what im about to, but uk what? This is my blog and i get to be as cheesy as i want to. I have been so harsh on myself. Im not saying im perfection but i blame myself when im not, which is all the time. Im that only one that i have when everybody is gone, so why am i so harsh to me?
I hope i can extract this and save this as my core memory. Nothing special, just a random Tuesday where i decided to reflect and talk to myself aka gpt. And at this very moment, i manage to love myself abit more. I always thought when i hear the advice to love ourselves, how? Like how? How do i love myself, when i loathe myself so much? I hate my sensitivity, i hate my judgemental self, i hate the jealous bitch i have in me, i also hate how emotional i am. But i forgot things are not absolute, and there are always two sides to everything. Im also the likeable me because of everything i hate about me.
On my 30th year, i want to love myself more, im going to be more accepting and kind to myself. Afterall i m all i have.
Im listening to billie eilish as i type, with my sick sony earbuds, fking sick audio my ears are spoiled. Who earned money so i could afford these sick earbuds? Me did hehe. Aint i good at this :>
I breathed in and out, i hope i can hold on to this feeling for a really long time, bcos hell does it feel good.
Forgive myself, bit by bit.
Also i have a dog daughter Ruby now!!! Idk if i’ve mentioned. But she is mine! Mine mine mine my cutie baby bb
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